10 <em>Game of Thrones</em> Predictions That Are Pretty Much Guaranteed

10 Game of Thrones Predictions That Are Pretty Much Guaranteed

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The explosive Game of Thrones season finale killed off a bunch of characters. We’d be sad except that the five previous seasons have trained us to love the carnage. In fact, the finale basically set up so many inevitable clashes for the next season, that we feel inclined to predict what’ll happen next. We’d call these spoilers, except that since the show is no longer following the books, how can we spoil what has not been written?

The wall will come down

Yeah, we know that The Wall has ancient magic that is supposed to protect it from undead creatures, but the wall has to come down — how else are White Walkers supposed to invade Westeros?

Either Tyrion or Jamie Lannister will kill Cersei

Cersei is pretty much “The Mad Queen” at this point as she’s using the Mad King’s underground supply of wildfire to destroy entire districts of King’s Landing. When her brother/lover Jamie saw her take the Iron Throne in the finale , he looked worried that he might have to slay yet another murderous monarch.

Book readers know that Maggie (the clairvoyant witch introduced at the start of season five) originally predicted that Cersie would die at the hands of her “valonqar”, the High Valyrian word for “little brother.” Seeing as Cersei’s twin, Jamie, was born after her, he’s technically her little brother, as is Tyrion Lannister, the little brother she has always despised. So one of them is definitely going to kill — after all, Maggie’s other predictions have all come true.

Jon Snow’s dad will be revealed to be Rhaegar Targaryen

The worst-kept GoT secret used to be that freshly-killed Jon Snow was going to be resurrected in season six. Nowadays, GoT‘s second worst-kept secret is that he’s actually the son of Rhaegar Targaryen, the eldest son of “the Mad King” Aerys II Targaryen. Rhaegar kidnapped Eddard Stark’s sister, Lyanna Stark, and raped her, impregnating her with the baby that would eventually become Jon Snow.

If anyone knew that the Targaryens had an heir to the throne, they would have killed that heir. Thus, in the finale, we saw Lyanna begging Eddard to protect the baby; Eddard accomplished this by pretending that the kid was his illegitimate son, something that caused Jon Snow to get treated like shit by his aunt Catelyn and pretty much everyone else for the rest of his life. But at least he’s alive. Thanks dad?

Daenerys’ fleet (with Yara Greyjoy in tow) will battle with Euron Greyjoy’s rival fleet

You may recall that Yara Greyjoy, the show’s only openly lesbian character, stole a bunch of ships from the Iron Islands after her evil uncle Euron killed her dad and usurped the throne. Euron commanded the remaining Islanders to build a fleet so he could track down Yara and kill her. It’s rumored that he has a horn that can control Daenerys’s dragons, so his battle with Yara and Daenerys’ fleet is going to be a fiery and epic one.

Arya’s probably gonna kill Melisandre

Now that Arya Stark has dropped out of ninja school, she’s free to slay all the murderers on her hit-list Kill Bill style. Melisandre (aka. The Red Woman) is on Arya’s shit-list for taking away Gendry (remember him?). Last we saw him, Sir Davos was helping him escape on a rowboat from Melisandre’s clutches somewhere in season three. Hell, Gendry could be alive for all we know, but Arya thinks he’s dead which means Melisandre is slated for a stabbing. And now that Jon Snow has exiled Melisandre from the North for killing Princess Shireen, she and Arya will likely cross paths and Arya will give Mel a decent slashing.

The Hound will battle The Mountain

When the Hound made a surprise return to the show this last season, fans suspected that he would fight in a trial by combat against The Mountain (aka. the guy who crushed bisexual Prince Oberyn’s skull with his bare hands). But alas, King Tommen outlawed trial by combat, thereby canceling the match.

Fans were understandably disappointed — after all, the Hound and the Mountain are brothers, making it a very exciting bout. However, they could still be on a crash course for battle as the Mountain is Cersei’s personal hitman and the Hound is on a quest to avenge the murders of a religious sect that briefly befriended him. Will the Hound’s vengeful quest lead him to King’s Landing? We’re hoping so…

Lady Stoneheart ain’t happening

Stop hoping that Catelyn Stark will come back from the dead and start killing people. She ain’t gonna.

Littlefinger’s gonna do some dastardly shit

When Littlefinger was all like, “OMG, Sansa, I love you and your family. I totes wanna rule Westeros with you,” Sansa was all like, “EWWW! Stahhhhhhp.” That did not make Pimpy McBackstabber very happy. Then when all of the northern leaders pledged their loyalty to Sansa’s brother Jon Snow, that did not make Pimpy McBackstabby very happy either.

Pimpy likes chaos and getting his way and he’s willing to kill and betray folks just to turn things into a shit-show; it will be very bad for everyone involved. The Starks really should have him killed, but they don’t tend to kill people on a whim, so Littlefinger will probably maim one of them before it’s all over.

Arya and Tyrion will die

Arya can’t just go around indiscriminately killing people without getting killed herself. Someone’s gonna notice all the bodies piling up and put an end to her little vendetta. As for Tyrion, he makes a great advisor to Daenerys, but the Battle of King’s Landing is going to be hellacious, and the last time he fought in a battle he almost got his face sliced off. We’ve seen what Daenerys’ dragons do to little people — if Cersei’s henchmen don’t get him, Drogon will.

Sansa is totes preggers with Ramsay Bolton’s demon spawn

At one point Sansa Stark told Pimpy McBackstabby (the man who basically sold her to infamous rapist and torturer Ramsay Bolton), “I can still feel what he did, in my body.” Later on, just before getting eaten alive by starving dogs, Ramsay told Sansa, “You can’t kill me. I’m part of you now.” Our take: she’s totes preggers. We imagine that access to safe abortions in Westeros is nil. Bummer.

Daenerys will win the Iron Throne, but King’s Landing and the castle will be in ruins

At this point, pretty much everyone wants to kill Cersei — Arya Stark, all the rest of the Starks, the tart-tounged Olenna Tyrell from Highgarden (aka. The Queen of Thorns), Lord Varys, the Sand Snakes from Dorn, the remaining Sparrows (are there any remaining Sparrows??!)… if you can name them, they probably want to kill Cersei. So Cersei is probably going to die, but not before blowing up entire parts of her city and getting choked to death by her brother.

Between the mass explosions and dragon fire, Daenerys will ascend the throne in a hideously broken realm. In fact, she’s even had a vision of this when she was imprisoned in the House of the Undying at the end of season two — walking through the abandoned throne room as snow fell through the broken ceiling. She’ll win Westeros, but at a cost so great that it may not even be worth ruling once she wins it.

Oh George R. R. Martin, you cruel bastard.

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