President-elect (and possible golden shower enthusiast) Donald Trump will hold his first press conference at 11 a.m. EST today, Jan. 11. It has been 167 days since his last one.
The long-awaited conference will be held at Trump Tower in New York. This is where Trump has conducted most of his meetings with potential cabinet and administration appointees since becoming President-elect.
We weren’t invited to the press conference, but here are five questions we’re dying to ask:
5. Of these films, which is your favorite: The Devil Wears Prada, Sophie’s Choice or Kramer vs. Kramer? We know! It’s so hard. They’re all so good!
4. If Twitter were to go out of business, what would you do instead at 3 a.m.?
3. Where are the receipts? And by receipts, we obviously mean your tax returns.
2. You said to Leslie Stahl that you were “fine” with marriage equality, but many of your appointees (including Vice President-elect Mike Pence) have long histories of anti-LGBT rhetoric and agendas. How do you intend to uphold the rights of the LGBT community and make sure they’re protected under your administration?
1. Last, you spoke of Nazi Germany earlier today in a tweet. Tell us, how is America today similar to a period of time when approximately 11 million people were killed?
Go on, Mr. Trump. We are all listening.