The name of the game is R.I.P it or ship it — the hot and harmless pairing of two characters from completely different series or game worlds. While many modern RPGs give players more romance options than ever before, sometimes it’s just fun to push some fan-favorite characters out of their comfort zones. Below are six queer hookups that we totally ship (and bet some of you do, too). Share your favorite ships with us!
1. The Iron Bull (Dragon Age: Inquisition) and Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher)
Dragon Age: Inquisition’s The Iron Bull is everything you want in a true warrior — strong, a natural leader. And very… horny. The pansexual Qunari — a race of conquering zealots rumored to be descended from dragons — and The Witcher’s Gerault are sure to attack a bedroom rendezvous as ferociously as they do the demons of their respective game worlds… and you just know there would be a cuddle session afterward to compare all those battle scars. (Gerault is totally a little spoon).
2. Liara T’sioni (Mass Effect) and Samus Aran (Metroid)
The good doctor is in. Mass Effect’s Liara Tsioni is a sage, sexy archaeologist who just happens to run the galaxy’s largest spy network as the Shadow Broker. The century-old bisexual asari is the perfect fit for Metroid’s famous bounty hunter Samus Aran. Both women are expert fighters, compassionate explorers and obsessed with lost alien races — Liara for the Protheans, Samus for her adoptive species, the Chozo. This is a power couple on a cosmic scale.
3. Catwoman (Arkham) and Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)
It’s all about the reboot. Tomb Raider and DC’s Catwoman have been stealing treasures — and hearts — for decades. But both Lara Croft and Selina Kyle received a much-needed update with Tomb Raider and Rise of the Tomb Raider and the Arkham series, respectively. The new survivalist Lara Croft could prove quite the romantic match for Gotham City’s most notorious cat burglar — if she’s secretly into whips, that is. Although Selina likes her urban thievery, I’m sure a treasure-raiding junket through Southeast Asia wouldn’t be unwelcome — especially with Lara by her side.
4. Crono (Chrono Trigger) and Link (Legend of Zelda)
What’s more timelessly romantic than a guy who’s the strong, silent type? Make that two guys — and throw in a snug green tunic for good measure. The Legend of Zelda’s Link and Chrono Trigger’s Crono let their swords do the talking for them as they carve through enemy hordes past, present and future. These two fellow time travelers could really let the sparks fly with a friendly sparring match — Link with his signature Master Sword, Crono and his katana… Or are we still talking about swords here?
5. Cortana (Halo) and Eliza Cassan (Deus Ex)
Attraction isn’t just biological. Halo’s Cortana, a highly advanced artificial intelligence, proved that best in her devotion to human soldier Master Chief. But the alluring blue hologram probably deserves a break from intergalactic war and the comfort of someone more on her wavelength. Deus Ex’s Eliza Cassan, an AI controlling much of her game world’s media and propaganda, is an inviting if cunning program. Cortana’s passion and Eliza’s calculating calm make the perfect match for a cyberspace tryst. Let’s get these two a server farm already.
6. Dovakiin (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim) and Steve (Minecraft)
Obsessive hoarding of resources? Check. Ceaseless crafting? Check. World-ending dragons? Check. The protagonists from Skyrim and Minecraft would have plenty to talk about if they talked at all — or if Skyrim’s Last Dragonborn could talk without blowing the roof off a meticulously crafted house with one his Shouts. But chemistry like this doesn’t need words — maybe an inventory filled with obsidian and cabbage they could never possibly use, but not words.
Previously Published November 18, 2015.
GX, or GaymerX, is a “queer space”; a yearly convention in Santa Clara, California, where panels center on queer themes, but all are invited and welcomed. As a proud media sponsor of GaymerX, Unicorn Booty covers gaming issues of all sorts. Tickets are available at GaymerX.com.
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