12 Times Batman and Superman Totally Got Gay Together
With the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice film on the horizon, Men.com — the same pornographers who brought us the Star Wars porn parody — has placed the superhero pair in some hot man-on-man action. That’s nice, but not especially novel seeing as Batman and Superman have been getting it on for years, at least in the minds of their gayest fans.
Three years ago, the French comedy site It’s Big foretold the sexual tension between Batman v Superman, and they’re not the only ones…
Even anti-gay fans think that Batman v Superman film will be ultra-gay. Just read this hilariously unhinged review from a man who thinks “heterosexual morale is at all time lows”:
In the Batman v Superman movie, originally conceptualized by the morally suspicious Frank Miller, heterosexual men will learn how to pursue the model, strong Christian (Superman) and overcome his Christian strength via use of drug (kryptonite), stealing his woman (Lois Lane falling for Bruce Wayne), distancing him from his family (scene where Clark and Martha Kent argue over Batman) and eventually, beating him down physically until he succumbs to your whims and he calls you ‘daddy’.
If there were any chance of Henry Cavill calling Ben Affleck “daddy” after a superheroic beatdown, we’d be all over this film, but early reviews haven’t been so super so we’re kinda wavering.
Nevertheless, the allure of Bat-Supe is real, so we amassed a small gallery of the Caped Crusader and the Man of Steel stealing some intimate moments with each other, including the video above and a recent music video below that shows the pair making out in Metropolis, errr, Gotham, uhhh, we mean New York City.
New York-based rock band Coheed and Cambria recently released a video showing Batman kissing Superman, but it’s not what you think: their video shows a budding romance between two poor New Yorkers who dress up as Batman and Superman to take pictures with tourists in Time Square. Batman eats microwaved food in his shitty apartment rather than fine cuisine in Wayne Manor, and Superman is a handsome but paunchy dude who can’t even put the Super “S shield” on his costume lest he be sued for copyright infringement. It’s kinda a downer, but has a gay happy ending.
And while Coheed and Cambria’s “Island” sounds like generic alt-rock, since 1998 the band’s members have been producing comics about an interplanetary sci-fi epic called The Armory Wars; they’ve also released a string of concept albums about them as well. That’s something we could go gay for.