Real talk, it’s a rough Monday morning here in the Unicorn Booty stable. The trees and flowers are blooming, and my oh my aren’t those cherry blossoms all around Seattle just the most beautiful thing ever? Well, they’re also borderline lethal! This is the time of year that my eyes burn like fire, my nose turns into a leaky faucet, and did I mention that my lymph nodes are so swollen that it looks like I have a mouth full of acorns?
It’s not sexy. So let’s ease into the day with some softball news. Wake me in an hour when a Republican Senator is caught blowing a Bank of America VP or Alabama legalizes same-sex unions. I need a nap.
But hey, heeeeere’s Chelsea Handler saying, “I’m not a full-time homosexual, but I do party like one.
See you after that nap. Pray for me, unicorns. And put the tea kettle on.