Criminal Vagina of the Year Held 54 Bags of Heroin and Laundry Money
Let’s hear it for Karin Mackaliunas, the Scranton, PA woman with the wonder vagina. After being detained by police following a car crash because they suspected her in a burglary, she began to act strangely. When police ordered a search of her, um, cavities…a whopping 54 bags full of heroin were discovered all up in Mackaliunas’ ladyparts. OMV!
But that’s not all! Homegirl had cash and change, as well as empty bags as well. This woman’s cervix apparently rests at the base of her lungs. I’ve seen Gucci bags that have been less roomy than this woman’s vagina. OK, so I’ve never actually seen a Gucci bag in person. Whatever. Farmer’s market bags. Don’t hate.
Twenty-seven-year-old Karin Mackaliunas began feeling the sting of all those tiny bags, and “After a struggle with Officer Baumann during a more thorough search at headquarters,” read the police report, “Ms. Mackaliunas asked to speak with Sergeant Michael Mayer and told him she had hidden more heroin in her vagina.”
Mackaliunas was searched and police discovered a stunning 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, and eight prescription pills in her vagina — along with $51.22 in cash and change.
Mackaliunas was charged with possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, and two counts of possession of a controlled substance.
Ladies, ladies, ladies. Where to begin? Just say no. A world of no. I wonder what the Anal Expert Grandma would have to say about this woman using her vagina as a storage closet? Exit only and such, amiright?
Thoughts on this stunningly vacuous vagina, ladies and gents?