Did Nancy Reagan REALLY Just Endorse Hilary Clinton For President?
The answer is no… but Bloomberg News, the Drudge Report, liberal Daily Kos, and Logo TV’s NewNowNext blog all reported the fake news report from the satirical National Report as true… and okay, okay, we fell for it too.
We titled our original story “Nancy Reagan All Out Of Fucks To Give, Endorses Hilary Clinton For President” and here’s what we originally wrote:
In a History Channel interview for an upcoming show called First Ladies in Their Own Words, former First Lady Nancy Reagan endorsed Hilary Clinton for president. That’s right, the widow of The Gipper, Old Ronnie, the beloved ghost of the Republican party wants a Democratic woman for president.
Did you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Republican heads exploding.
Here’s exactly what she said:
“The time for a woman to serve as our President has come – really, now is the time – and I think the idea of having a former First Lady as the leader of the free world is really quite a marvelous notion. I want Hillary to win. Even though I admire two of the current potential Republican nominees, I have no interest in seeing either of them lead this country.”
Not only did she prop up Hilary, she also smacked down the Republican nominees — Jesus Christ! If any Republican points out to her that maybe it’s not so helpful to endorse the opposing party’s heir apparent, she’ll likely say, “I’m 93 years old. My senile husband is dead. I have literally no fucks left to give,” and then throw a deuce sign and roll away her wheelchair while gangster rap plays.
Likely, some Republican pundits will start talking about how she’s a traitor turncoat Muslim Whore of Babylon who has let the terrorists win, or something. But if anything, she’s simply keeping it real.
Keep in mind that women make up only about 20 percent of worldwide governmental bodies; quite a low number when you consider that they’re 51 percent of the population.
The idea of recurring Bush and Clinton administrations sound as appetizing as a kick in the throat, but the 2016 political primary season has barely started and there are other Democratic contenders who could end up snatching Hilary’s chance.
Either way, Nancy has named her pick. Deal with it. And if you care, The History Channel’s First Ladies in Their Own Words will air sometime in the indefinite future, meaning you can look forward to watching the former First Ladies talking about life in the White House, their historical legacy and U.S. politics since their day. Fun.
Buuuuut, it turns out the story’s completely fake… so pretend you didn’t just read all that. Thanks.