Disappointing Gay Best Friend: Interview

Written by Kevin Farrell on July 10, 2017

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Mikala Bierma, the latest addition to my “If you could invite six people to dinner blah blah blah…list”, opens up about being so gaymous is hurts to The Advocate. While I’m busy kicking myself for not asking to interview her first, you can go ahead and check out some highlights below.

What inspired your Disappointing Gay Best Friend videos?

The inspiration came out of two drunken nights. A few months ago, Tyler and I met up with a bunch of my gay friends from college who were being super-bitchy and downright mean. I found myself worried that these guys were being too gay for Tyler. Later, I asked him if he was offended by all the shit-talking. He was like, “No, I know lots of gay men. I date gay men.” That experience planted a seed that there’s something funny about comparing Tyler to that bitchy gay stereotype. A couple weeks later, I was performing in a variety show, and Tyler was wasted. He teetered toward me in all his hipster glory and confessed that he wanted to perform with me. I was like, “Yes, let’s shoot something!” Later that week, we got together and filmed the first three shorts.

As your videos suggest, straight girls sometimes place unfair expectations on their gay male friends, perhaps due to their stereotypical mainstream portrayals in TV shows and movies like Will & Grace, Sex and the City, and My Best Friend’s Wedding. Should gay male friends play a role in a woman’s life that’s different from that of other friends?

The only thing I expect from my gay friends is amazing handjob tips, and I’m finally getting good at it. Really, I think a gay friend should be held to the same friend-standards as anyone else. A woman expecting a gay man to make her feel better about herself is so 2008. Friendship is a two-way street. I love to hang out with Tyler because we have a great time and similar interests: We both love cocktails, going to a show, and giant dicks.

What’s your history with gay men?

I’ve always had lots of loving gay men in my life. My parents are musicians who had all sorts of artists — gays — around us growing up. One of my favorite childhood memories is sitting between two drag queens at Thanksgiving dinner. Fifth-grade Mikala was in awe. We have an amazing picture somewhere. There’s a natural attraction between strong funny ladies and gay men. A silly sense of humor is necessary for any friendship I build, and I’ve just found a lot of silly ol’ queens out there.

Since their debut on March 10, the Disappointing Gay Best Friend videos have already been featured on a number of major blogs. What doors do you hope that recognition opens?

I have simple dreams: Meet RuPaul, be on Bravo, and have my own float in a gay pride parade. Really, I’d just love to keep telling jokes that make people happy. And also to be so famous — or gaymous — it hurts.