Usually when you hear somebody say they want to eat someone, they’re making a crude reference to oral sex. (Or maybe they’re a vore fan.) But in Noah Maloney‘s case, he’s literally eating Jason Segel … pictures of him, anyway.
Maloney has vowed to eat a picture of Segel each day until the actor eats a photo of him. (Maloney’s helpfully provided such a picture, so Segel won’t have to hunt for one.)
If you’re worried for Maloney, don’t be. It’s not some sort of weird sexual obsession—it just started, as the best things do, as an inside joke. Don’t worry about him physically, either—as Maloney points out, he’s Canadian, and they’ve got socialized medicine.
So far, Maloney’s just been printing out standard headshots of the actor. But we think he should branch out a little. Eating the same thing every day is a sure way to get sick of it. To help out, we’ve compiled this gallery of 10 Jason Segel pictures Maloney should add to his menu.
As of this writing, Jason Segel has not yet responded to Noah Maloney. If you want to encourage him, you can reach out to Segel on Twitter. And if you want to show solidarity with Maloney’s quest, he’s on Twitter, too.
— Noah Maloney (@zestynoah) February 16, 2017
Please Jason, won’t you eat Noah’s face?