We’ve all run into the difference between texting and talking face-to-face. Anyone who has ever texted has at one time or another made a joke that the other person took at face value. How many times have you worried about offending someone after they don’t text back, when it turns out they just didn’t have anything to add?
In the latter case, there are a couple cheats you could do. For example, you could “*nod*”, but even that can sometimes look like you’re not interested. Likewise with “yeah” – does it mean “I agree”, “I’m not really paying attention” or even “whatever“?
Worry no more, for we’ve got a solution! For times when you want to say “I don’t have anything to add, but I want you to continue”, simply type “jjjjjj”. It’s easy to type – if you’re on a computer, “J” is right on the homerow so your fingers don’t need to move, and if you’re on a phone, it’s right in the middle of the keyboard. It’s all lowercase, too, meaning no pesky shift key… and it’s not like you’re ever gonna need to shout it and put it in all-caps.
Another bonus of jjjjjj is that it’s got no vowels or anything else that might confuse it with any other words in any language – meaning it’s available for any speaker of a language that uses roman characters. (Translations of jjjjjj to languages like Russian are pending. Our top linguists are working round the clock.) And its very nature makes it nigh-impossible to make a typo.
Of course, with the great power of jjjjjj comes great responsibility. We can’t dilute its meaning, otherwise all is lost. It’d be really rude to use it in response to “hello”, even if you didn’t have anything to add. Nor should you use jjjjjj if you DO have something to add, but just can’t quite say it at the moment. And you should NEVER use jjjjjj sarcastically. The purpose of jjjjjj is clear and easy communication of a supportive and interested ear – sarcasm gets in its way.
Likewise, never name something “jjjjjj”. You’d be adding an extra meaning to jjjjjj, muddying the waters – but even worse, it’s unpronounceable by design, making it a terrible name. Calling a dog “jjjjjj” would just be cruel. Dogs are for loving, not a target for mean pranks.
I know jjjjjj is a beautiful thing, but sometimes we must leave beautiful things in their natural environment. Just like some beautiful flowers die quickly when they’re cut to be taken home and put in an expensive vase, jjjjjj will wither and die if we use it incorrectly. Treat jjjjjj how it wants to be treated, and jjjjjj will be kind to you by providing a way to express your interest without lying to or accidentally alienating your friends.
jjjjjj is our gift to you. Please use it wisely. And be on the lookout for our upcoming jjjjjj equivalent especially for sexting!