After 19 months of being “poked, prodded, and probed” by the FBI, the fed recently arraigned Schock on 24 felony corruptions charges including “nine counts of wire fraud, five of falsification of election commission filings, six of filing false federal income tax returns, two of making false statements and one each of mail fraud and theft of government funds” and a partridge in a pear tree (though we threw that last one in just because it’s the holidays).
He would have been arraigned on these charges earlier, except he had asked the court to delay the hearing so that they wouldn’t interrupt his travel plans. Ooooooooh. How nice to have a court schedule its business around your leisure!
We’d feel sorrier for the guy but seeing as he voted against repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and supported a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, we simply can’t. Of course, of all the crimes he has allegedly committed, his fashion crimes remain among the worst.
UPDATE (12/12/16 5:37pm CST): He has plead not guilty to the charges. We shall see how the trial goes. Hopefully it’ll be like an episode of Dynasty, except with more slapping.
(featured image via Down with Tyranny)
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