What do you do when your gay flirting game sucks? What if you don’t know the first thing about chatting with a cute stranger, let alone picking up a guy for sex?
There are tons of gay guys out there seeking some “cruising basics” — a 1o1 course on gay flirting, if you will. What are the secrets to “scoring” at a bar?
First off, when it comes to gay flirting, don’t stress.
When it comes to flirting and cruising, there are no steadfast rules, and it’s a pretty fair assumption that some of the other guys in the same bar as you feel the same way.
The key is confidence — confidence in yourself and the situation — which is always attractive, and which demonstrates a sense of control over the scenario so you can more successfully pursue what interests you. If it’s your first time in a cruising bar, for instance, confidence may be in short supply, but don’t worry — you can fake it.
Gay flirting and cruising is very animalistic in many ways, so follow your instincts.
So much of this game is about body language and eye contact. Stand up tall, with your chest out. Don’t shrink or slouch. Allow your presence to be recognized.
Scan the bar to see who catches your interest. Make eye contact. Almost everything can be said with eye contact, an arched brow and a smile. Here again, trust your instincts.
If a guy is looking at you, he is looking at you, not the guy behind you.
Smile and say hello. You’ll be able to tell rather quickly what his intentions are. Confidence is something that can be cultivated, and false bravado will do until you’ve worked up to the real thing.
If you find yourself in a cruising bar, usually very little talking is required — or desired — and your intention can be made clear by how the two of you are looking at each other.
But most importantly …
… please be kind. If you’re not interested in a guy who’s flirting with you, politely decline his advances. There’s no reason to humiliate someone, and you’re all there for the same reason. Creating a cordial environment ensures that a good time is had by all.