gay mayor hell
gay mayor hell

Gay Man Becomes Mayor of Hell, Michigan, and Immediately Bans All Straight People

There’s a small area in southeast Michigan known as Hell. It lacks its own local government, but if you pay $100, you can literally become the Mayor of Hell for a day: You get a coffee mug, a badge, a set of devil horns to wear and even phone calls to make important decisions.

Yesterday, gay comedian and internet personality Elijah Daniel became the Mayor of Hell. Immediately he tweeted, “I would like to be the first U.S. mayor to go on record and say that ‘eating ass is dope.'”

Soon after, he banned all straight people from entering Hell, and in his official proclamation (below), he echoed several anti-immigrant talking points from U.S. President Donald Trump.

Details from the gay Mayor of Hell’s heterosexual ban

“Growing up, I was always told that homosexuals would go to Hell, no the heterosexuals are trying to take this from us too,” his proclamation read.

It continued:

“As of today … I am establishing new vetting measures to keep radical heterosexuals out of our town…. The straights coming into our town, procreating, having more straight children to take our rightfully gay jobs…. I currently feel as if it would just be safer to ban all heterosexuality until we can assess the situation further and build a strategy to resolve our problem.”

Daniel said that heterosexuals caught living in Hell would have to pay an $84,000 “reproductive precautionary deposit” which would be returned after one year of abstaining from heterosexual activities.

He also said that the town would offer “heterosexual reparative therapy” for any residents who wanted to renounce their heterosexuality and become gay like the rest of the town. Although therapy was not mandatory, he wrote that any heterosexuals who didn’t attend would have to “wear a scarlet H and meet in the town center at 5:30am wearing cargo shorts every morning to be publicly straight-shamed.”

“Thank you for your cooperation in this tough time,” Daniel’s proclamation concluded. “Together we will Make Hell Great Again.”

Not everyone finds Daniel’s anti-straight proclamation so funny

Daniel has received some social media backlash and death threats for his proclamation.

He tweeted in response, “straight ppl are outraged I said they can’t go to a town they didn’t even know existed with a population of 72 & that’s so fucking funny.”

Anyone who feels like what Daniel did was hurtful and divisive should remember that some countries literally ban, imprison, torture and kill people for being gay (Chechnya, anyone?). In many countries and U.S. states, ex-gay therapy is legal, even though most professional psychologists agree that it’s a form of torture.

At least Daniel’s anti-straight proclamation expired after 24 hours — other anti-gay laws around the world exist in perpetuity.

Daniel was impeached after 24 hours

Every Mayor of Hell, Michigan gets impeached at the end of their 24-hour reign — they even get a t-shirt with “Mayor of Hell” on the front and “Impeached” on the back — so Daniel was impeached as well. About his impeachment, he tweeted: “Being impeached was fun , you should try it.”

 

 

Featured image by Jason_V via iStock