gay porn pirates teaser
gay porn pirates teaser

This New Gay Porn Parody Reminds Us Pirates Were Pretty Damn Progressive

Men.com is at it again. The studio known for some of the best gay porn parodies on the market — Tarzan, Captain America and Star Wars among them — has now decided to ride the wave of pop culture’s pirate obsession. On May 26, the same day that Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales sees release on big screens nationwide, Men.com will release Pirates: A Gay XXX Parody as a four-part series.

More than allowing us to gawk at sexy porn guys decked out in tricorne hats, blousy shirts, eyeliner and musket straps — the obvious draw for this porn parody — the film does something else as well: It reminds us that despite their reputations as scoundrel-y thieves and murderers (which, to be clear, they often were), pirates were pretty damn progressive when it came to queer issues.

Aiming to be as legit as possible, Pirates: A Gay XXX Parody was shot on location in Ibiza, Spain and Florida. And while shooting the film, the crew got into rather dark waters themselves.

“As crew, we had to be fearless ourselves to capture the primitive style of the movie,” says Marc MacNamara, one of the film’s producer/directors. “As I was struggling to stay afloat in the ice-cold waters, miles offshore with an underwater camera tied to my waist, I knew we were capturing something special — or that I was going to be shark bait. We jumped off cliffs, balanced on the edge of jagged caves and worst of all ate fast food, as that’s all that was open at our 4 a.m. wrap times. We set aside our blood, sweat, tears and fears and are extremely excited to take you into our courageous world of Pirates.”

Take a look at this premise of the Pirates gay porn parody:

Diego Sans finds himself in need of a ship. But what should’ve been a simple commandeering ends with him locked in a cell below deck. The ever curious Johnny Rapid strikes up a conversation with the pirate and learns of a foreboding future that only Diego can help with. Johnny thanks him the best way he knows how…

Much like in this gay porn, pirates were — well, pretty gay

Sure, there were gay hookups on pirate ships. We’re basically talking about a floating prison, full of men with no women to be seen. But pirates were more than just accepting of gay sex. They actually supported their own form of gay marriage as well.

According to this article by Cracked, there are some historians who claim that the pirates of Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean franchise (and thus those of this new gay porn parody as well) “had entire communities where homosexual couples were considered perfectly acceptable.”

Who knew, right?

It turns out that pirates supported a form of same-sex civil partnership called matelotage. Two male pirates would enter an arrangement by which they’d share all their earthly possessions (queue that “booty” joke) for the purpose of financial security. But some claim the relationships also had romantic underpinnings.

As this look at pirates of the 17th and 18th centuries claims, “Onboard a pirate vessel, love was accepted wherever it could be found.” (They also “displayed remarkably little of the racial prejudice that was being developed at that time.”)

“In my opinion, love and sex by definition is wild and untamed, so don’t control it — let it be,” says MacNamara. “That’s what we did for Pirates — we went back to basics and created a world where masculinity and men were free to be savage.”

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.

Check out this gallery of pics from the gay porn parody Pirates:

Watch the SFW trailer of the Pirates gay porn parody below:

You can find Pirates: A Gay XXX Parody exclusively at Men.com.