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Dear Abby just got a question from a concerned bride about inviting anti-gay wedding guests to her special day, and the advice columnist responded with the best answer ever.
The question from “Bride for Marriage Equality”:
My fiancé and I are getting married in a year. We have some very close gay friends, and I have gay family members on my mom’s side. The majority of our family is gay-friendly, but a few of them on my father’s side are very open about their dislike of the LGBT community.
Our ceremony will be at a Unitarian Universalist church because we love that they are supportive of the LGBT community and want everyone to feel comfortable and accepted on our big day. I’m terrified that my family members will do or say something to hurt or offend guests at our wedding who have same-sex partners.
I am considering putting a note on my wedding website that our wedding will be a celebration of love, and to please set aside political and personal beliefs and accept every one of our guests during this happy occasion.
Would this be appropriate? I don’t know how else to convey the message that we will not tolerate any hateful or offensive remarks or actions against our loved ones.
We’ve all been there, right? When you are living your best life on the dance floor, channeling your inner Beyoncé and dancing to “Formation” giving zero fucks. You then realize you’re getting the side-eye and icy glances from Aunt Tammy and Uncle Earl at Table 17 in the corner. Well, Abby responded on how to deal with these homophobic guests with an answer we can really get down with.
Dear Abby answers:
Do not post that message on your website.
Your message should be delivered via a telephone conversation with the people you think may have a problem. A way to phrase it would be to tell them you are planning your wedding and that some of the guests in attendance will be same-sex couples.
Ask if this would make them uncomfortable, and if the answer is yes, do not invite them.
So the bride’s gays at her wedding will be able to live their best life regardless of Uncle Earl or Aunt Tammy being there, because they were warned.
Don’t hate on my gays! They did not come to play with you.