When it comes to ghosting, we’ve all been there. You’re at a bar, feeling good, shadows and lights are moving along the walls and then, like a hypnotic gut-punch, you make eyes with the hottest guy in the room. He approaches you in slow motion (might be a vampire … fingers crossed) and you question your entire existence. Sparks fly, a few drinks and some laughs later and of course the bladder kicks in. “I’ll be right back,” you say, but when you return from the bathroom, he’s gone.
No, you weren’t visited by an angel, or the spirit of a closeted vintage Hollywood icon. You, my dear, were ghosted.
“The ghoster” is a profound and curious entity in the LGBT community — an enigma of narcissism and sociopathic behavior wrapped up into what you think is the one.
In a social media-driven world, ghosting has become more prominent. No one can pay attention to anything for more than five seconds these days. (Are you still there? OK. Whew.) From dating apps with immediate hookup possibilities to that unanswered text message you’ve been staring at for three weeks, people are getting ghosted more than the Insidious franchise.
What’s confusing about the ghoster is the lack of empathy he seems to have. And, to be honest, it’s just rude! The ghoster has one thing on his mind: “Who’s better than you?” It’s a mixture of poor manners and conquest that plague the ideal of a healthy relationship. It hurts feelings and plays unhealthy mind games.
Have I personally been ghosted? Of course. Have I lost sleep debating whether or not I’m a #garbagefire? You bet.
Let’s make a resolution for 2018: IRL is sexy! Confidence and charm are coming back in a huge way, promise me! Don’t worry about that pic getting to response or that text going unanswered. That guy isn’t worth your time, and clearly he’s dealing with his own insecurities.
So keep your head high and focus on doing what you do, boo … no pun intended.
Justin Martindale is a stand-up comic who has been seen on MTV, Comedy Central and more. You can catch him on the E! Network as a correspondent in 2018.
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