Wait, Donald Trump is still running for president, right? Yeah, as far as we know. And yet he just wandered off like a confused child to find himself on the windswept moors of Scotland.
For some reason, Donald’s presence was needed at a golf course that he owns, cutting ribbons and giving speeches about his own greatness. It’s some of the strangest campaign strategy ever seen… but then again, that’s characterized this election from the start.
Scotland, it’s worth noting, really does not like Donald Trump. His neighbors, next to the golf course, absolutely hate him for his strong-arm tactics to try to take their land: He wanted government permission to seize it, and when that didn’t work, he built walls and hills to block their views. On one occasion, he tried to bill the neighbor for a fence, which the neighbor refused — a bit of a preview of future interactions with Mexico, perhaps.
The golf course itself has so far been a huge failure, hiring only a fraction of the people he promised and losing a million dollars a year. Trump also tried to block a nearby wind farm, further alienating everyone in the country.
When he finally did appear in Scotland to give his speeches, he found a weird welcome. A comedian spilled swastika-adorned golf balls around him, and then Trump gave a speech in which he praised the patriotism of the German people. It was a truly horrifying scene that sounds like something from The Onion — but it’s all true.
Trump also tried to praise the people of Scotland for voting to leave the European Union — but in fact, in the recent Brexit vote, Scotland really voted to stay. Whoops. Not just that, Scotland might leave the UK over Brexit.
@realDonaldTrump Scotland voted IN you moron
— Lily (@lilyallen) June 24, 2016
But getting the facts wrong is nothing new for Trump. And it doesn’t even seem to concern him. In fact, just a few days earlier, he gave an insane speech in which he called out Hillary Clinton as a liar. The irony, of course, is that the speech was full of falsehoods.
For example, he told supporters that Hillary would appoint Supreme Court justices who could gut the Second Amendment, and that he would instantly appoint justices who would protect guns. This is nonsense, and not at all how the Supreme Court works. The president doesn’t get to choose what cases come before the Supreme Court, and doesn’t even get to appoint anyone — the president can only nominate.
He also said that Hillary helped Iran get nuclear weapons, when she actually helped craft agreements that drastically reduced their capacity for weaponization. And he said that she received gifts from Arab leaders, when in fact those gifts were to the country, and she only accepted them on America’s behalf in a process that has existed for numerous other administrations, Democratic and Republican alike.
And then there’s the new website Trump unveiled, LyingCrookedHillary.com. Or at least, he tried to unveil it. When he announced the site, it was actually down and only returning an error message. Oh well!
At one point during that speech, Trump said, , “Americans, Americans, Americans, the people we love, Americans, America First, Make our country great again.” This is a perfect reflection of the depth of his understanding of American politics. Scotland seems to have figured out that he’s an idiot … why can’t this country do the same?