Gift Guide 2017: 20 Presents You’ll Probably Just Decide to Keep for Yourself

Gift Guide 2017: 20 Presents You’ll Probably Just Decide to Keep for Yourself

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There are two types of people in this world: those who get super stressed by the idea of shopping for holiday gifts, and those who use their time between Thanksgiving and late December wisely. (“Wisely” in this case meaning as the perfect opportunity to see what new stuff you want to add to your wardrobe or home.)

Giving holiday gifts can be fun, sure, but you know what else is fun? Shopping!

Here are 20 perfect holiday gifts that you’ll buy with great intentions but probably keep for yourself:


1. Tom of Finland X Nicopanda Tom’s Sweater

This sweater would be absolutely amazing on that one friend of yours — you know, the one who’s drop-dead sexy, super sex-positive and could pull off a burlap sack if he had to. But you know who else this sweater would look great on? You. Designed by Nicola Formichetti, it’s a cotton knit, with a portion of proceeds benefitting the Tom of Finland Foundation. $275


2. Anything by Gaypin’ 

The perfect stocking stuffer, the enamel pins of Gaypin’ — a trio of gay artists who specialize in queer-positive and quirky pins for your shirt, sweater, jacket or anywhere else — are a great way to say ‘Yep, I’m a homo’ while looking cute AF. $12–$14


3. Dita Von Teese Gilded Rose Glamour Girl Vase

Part of a limited edition of 1,000, this just over six-inch case is fashioned after a vintage lady head vase and features a 24-karat gold-plated rose in her hair. $75


4. The LOVE Turntable

Ditch the bulky tabletop turntable and opt for something a bit more streamlined. Though it uses a traditional stylus, “the world’s first intelligent turntable” modernizes your vinyl habit by letting you control it via a Bluetooth or Wifi-connected app — while keeping those pops and crackles you love. $329 (for preorder)


5. Rocket Science Bath Bomb

It’s another great stocking stuffer, but why can’t you treat yourself? Maybe purchase two of these bath bombs by Lush, made with bergamot and lemon. Drop it into the water and watch streams of yellow and pink fill your tub. $6


6. Phillips Norelco Beardtrimmer 7200

Perfect for your facial haired buddy, but also perfect for you, considering it has a vacuum that’ll prevent your bathroom sink from looking like you live with Bigfoot. Keeping those sideburns tidy with no clean-up is clearly a win-win. $60


7. Tom Ford’s Fucking Fabulous

No friend deserves to smell better than you. It’s that simple. And the newest Tom Ford scent (also available in an atomizer) is too expensive to just gift willy-nilly, ya know? Ford describes it as “evoking the private exchanges and insider moments where fantasies come true” — whatever the hell that means. $310–$804


8. 7-Inches for Planned Parenthood

Planned Parenthood gets 100% of the proceeds from the sale of this curated vinyl box set featuring musicians like Chvrches, Estelle, Foo Fighters, Feist and Björk and comedians including Sarah Silverman, Tig Notaro and Zach Galifianakis. $100


9. Patina Lighter Case

Everybody needs to light something — a cig, a candle, that good kush. Do it in style with this hand-patinated solid brass lighter case that fits standard Bic lighters. $180


10. Frankies 457 Spuntino Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Grassy and peppery, true foodies who understand the power of using good olive oil in the kitchen flat-out worship this stuff. It’s “DOP Certified,” which is fancy olive oil jargon for “the good stuff.” If you are gonna gift this instead of keeping it for yourself, pair it with a perfect crusty bread. $30


11. Apple iPhone X

Sure, you don’t really need a new phone, but once you’ve got this sucker in your hands, you’ll never want to look back. What a difference a couple millimeters of extra screen makes! $1,000


12. KAWS x Peanuts Toy

No, you’re not too old for a stuffed animal. Besides, this isn’t a “stuffed animal,” it’s Snoopy — albeit an all-black, NYC-inspired edition — created by artist KAWS for Uniqlo. $40


13. Men’s Vitamin Cleansing Bar

Have you ever seen a more handsome bar of soap? Leather up and moisturize with one of Baxter of California’s most popular soaps, featuring notes of citrus and “herbal musk.” That’s hot. $17


14. DJI Spark Mini Drone

The ultimate toy for big boys, this sucker takes pristine photos and video despite its small size (under 10 inches, under 2 pounds) and, thanks to special technology that let’s it avoid objects while in flight, is pretty hard to destroy. Perfect for a drone newbie. $393


15. Mophie Powerstation Plus

In the age of smartphones, a portable battery backup is practically a necessity, and this one comes with both a mini-USB and an Apple Lightning adaptor, meaning you can bring any kind of phone back to life from the dead. Currently on sale for $45


16. Dyson “V7 Car+Boat” cordless vacuum

In the world of vacuum cleaners (granted, not the most exciting world), Dyson does it right. This sucker could be the most hassle-free vacuum ever created. It’s cord-free, compact and powerful. Plus, giving someone a vacuum cleaner as one of their holiday gifts is kinda weird, no? Buy this for yourself. $216


17. Polaroid POP Instant Print Digital Camera

Polaroid is back as a player in the instant photo market, and you don’t even need a computer to print images when you have the POP camera. Best of all, this pocket-sized piece of tech doesn’t sacrifice anything you want from a digital camera, like a self-timer, image stabilization and 1080p video. And with the app you can add stickers and other junk to your image before you print. That’s all the rage these days, we hear. $200


18. Converse x JW Anderson Chuck 70

Literally available for purchase today, these things sparkle like a gay man’s shoes should. $140


19. Black Steel Nail Clippers

KIYA has been making cutlery in Japan using its special “cosmic steel” since 1792, so the brand knows a few things about cutting stuff, even nails. I mean, look at this from these clippers’ Amazon page: “Make it easy for you to cut your nails even if they are so hard.” And these jet black nail clippers are butch enough for even the straightest straight dude. $19


20. Alexander McQueen Skeleton Keychain

This keychain kicks ass. Keep it for yourself and get your friend something from Kohl’s. $271


Enjoy shopping for holiday gifts, and don’t forget to treat yourself, too!

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