Homophobia Immersion Therapy: Lowering Patient Into Tank Of Gays

Homophobia Immersion Therapy: Lowering Patient Into Tank Of Gays

Be first to like this.
Translate this Story and earn Hornet Points!

BOSTON—During a widely publicized press conference at the Boston University School of Medicine Friday, researchers announced a breakthrough new technique that cures homophobia by immersing patients in a large glass tank overflowing with gays. “Rather than avoid one’s fear of homosexual men, we believe it’s crucial to face it head on,” behavioral psychologist Dr. Dolph Kleineman told reporters, explaining how homophobic subjects are hooked up to a harness and lowered into a room containing bare-chested men dancing suggestively to the latest club hits, kissing, and feeding one another strawberries. “So far the treatment has been successful, with early test subjects being able to go out into the real world and see a gay couple hold hands without making a bigoted remark.” When asked if there was a risk of subjects getting stuck in the tank of writhing men, Kleineman said the gays would be so oiled up that patients would have no trouble slipping in and out.

God, sometimes The Onion just absolutely nails it!

Related Stories

No Shocker Here: Low Intelligence Linked With Anti-Gay Bias, Says New Study
HIV in Russia Is on the Rise as Experts Claim It Has the Highest Rate of Cases in 2017
How Common Is Dementia Among LGBT Seniors? A New Study Bears Interesting Results
A ‘Gay Cure’ Doctor in Toronto Was Just Sentenced for Having Sex With His Male Patients
Quantcast