A new book about Nazi leader Adolf Hitler entitled, Hitler’s Last Day: Minute by Minute says that he had one testicle, hypospadias (a urethral opening at the underside of the penis) and a two-inch “micropenis.”
His one testicle has reportedly been proven by 1923 medical examination records from his stint in Landsberg prison, and historians Jonathan Mayo and Emma Craigie have reportedly confirmed his hypospadias and “micropenis” with other medical records. But while it’s always nice to get embarrassing dirt on people who suck, there’s a few things about this recent revelation that don’t sit well with us.
First off, The Guardian article about this discovery begins, “It has long been suspected that Hitler’s conquest of Europe was an attempt to compensate for a lack of potency elsewhere.” As if we could boil down the entire Third Reich and Hitler’s campaign to his dick. It’s a comforting but reductive thought that ignores all the other social conditions that allowed his social and military rise to power — namely, that scores of other people helped enact the Holocaust and German aggression during World War II.
Secondly though, it seems like the “ha ha, Hitler had an ugly weiner” narrative (whether true or not) is just a way to make him seem more monstrous, when what’s scariest of all is that he was just a human being. As one of the Tumblr posters below says, “The number one mistake anyone could ever make in history is making the assumption that only inhuman monsters are incapable of doing terrible things.”
And lastly, let’s remember that one percent of the population has just one testicle (or cryptorchidism, as it’s called), 0.3 percent has hypospadias and 0.6 percent have micropenis. That means 34,778,296 men around the world have one testicle, 10,433,488 have hypospadias and 20,866,977 have micropenis. That’s millions of men who have penises similar to Hitler’s, and when we deride them as “deformed” or blame those conditions for making him a monster, we lump those other people into that assumption as well.