The Fart of War: Behold, A Scroll of Epic Japanese Fart Battles!
AWESOMENESS WARNING: Some of the pics below are too badass for un-epic workplaces (NSFW).
Today is National Pass Gas Day! (Appropriately, Jan. 6 was National Bean Day.) In celebration, we thought we’d take a look at the fart’s role in art and history.
Around 1846, a group of Edo period Japanese artists illustrated a 34-long foot scroll depicting He-Gassen (屁合戦, literally a “fart battle”). The illustrations show men and women blowing away horses, trees and entire tea-parties using gale-force blasts of anal wind.
Some art historians see the scroll (and other similar drawings) as xenophobic political cartoons of Japanese fart-warriors attacking invasive Westerners; the Tokugawa shogunate at that time made a habit of arresting and executing most European visitors. But considering that most of the figures in this scroll seem to be Japanese, other art historians view He-Gassen art as nothing more than dirty visual humor.
No matter your interpretation, the scrolls remain a hilarious (and collectable) part of (f)art history. In 1992, Christie’s auctioned off 12 He-Gassen prints for $1,580, but you can enjoy some He-Gassen images at Japan’s Waseda University Library archive and below.
Fart-warriors used to roam the illustrated countryside, using butt-blasts to knock off hats and blow men off their feet!
The threat was so great, that other fart-soldiers used fans to turn flatulence against their makers.
No one was safe from The Great Fart War! Even if you held your nose or hid behind an upturned table, one well-directed toot could blast a hole through even the sturdiest furniture!
Fart-warriors terrorized innocent men …
… horses and their riders …
… innocent cats roaming the streets …
… wicked trees …
… entire tea parties …
… and God help you if you were an emperor or an elected official; two naked women would team up and use their farts to levitate you and leave you crashing in stinky robes—the indignity of it all!
The only way to ward off fart attackers was to collect a big ol’ bag of farts and then unleash them on the unsuspecting warriors!
Start saving your farts for the next National Pass Gas Day (Jan. 7, 2018)! Who knows? Maybe you’ll save us all in a giant fart war!
(Previously published July 3, 2016.)