Judge Accuses Man of Being ‘Gayer Than a Sweet-Smelling Jockstrap’

Wisconsin doesn’t often see much gay blog coverage. Until NOW. Dun dun dunnnn!

Waupaca County, Wisconsin Judge Philip Kirk busted out the crazy during the sentencing of child molestor Delton Gorges. Kirk’s bizarre pre-sentencing talking-to included the following greatest hits:

I think you were born gayer than a sweet-smelling jockstrap.

“I think that if anyone believes that in the last ten years or fifteen years, all of a sudden you developed an interest in homosexuality and young boys, then I must have looked ravishing in my prom dress this year.”

“I can’t imagine in the ’40s or ’50s admitting your sexual orientation. No one knew there was a closet to come out of in those days. You know you had to be very careful because you could have found your penis floating in the Wolf as walleye bait. It was a terrible life to have to live.”

Fun! We’re going to go out on a limb and assume Kirk was referring to Wisconsin’s Wolf River.

Nobody here is negating the fact that Gorges should be locked away and punished for his crimes, but let’s get something straight here: sexually assaulting children doesn’t make you a homosexual. It makes you a pedophile. Attraction to children, no matter the sex, is a whooooole other bag of terrible, terrible worms. Gay is good. Sexually abusing children is bad. Clear?

What do you think of Judge Kirk’s remarks? And more importantly, has a jockstrap ever in the history of the world smelled sweet?