Kathy Griffin will appear on Tuesday in a special episode of the Comedy Central series The President Show. She’ll play Kellyanne Conway, senior advisor to the President. We don’t know about you, but we’re super stoked for the Kathy Griffin Kellyanne Conway impression.
“I am kicking the hornet’s nest, as much as I can,” she said in an interview with the NY Times. “I think it’s important to lean into the controversy, because I know so much more about it now. I think now enough time has passed where people are starting to see the ridiculousness of what happened to me, and they’re seeing other people that Trump has done it to.”
We round-up five things Kathy Griffin will have to do to accurately portray Kellyanne Conway:
1. Her clenched-jaw smile.
When she’s not talking, Kellyanne Conway’s clenched-jaw smile is the type of smile someone wears when they’ve just shit themselves and they don’t want anybody to know. It’s remarkably similar to the “I know that World War III is about to begin because the leader of the free world is a crazy person” smile.
2. Her stylized disheveled “I’m busy” hair.
Conway always makes it on air with hair that is stylized-messy. She wants it to tell us that, as a Senior Advisor to President Wack Job, she is important and busy. So busy, she doesn’t have to run a comb in her hair to make it better… only enough time to make it worse. Since Griffin’s hair is buzzed, we’re guessing she is going to wear a wig for her portrayal. Make it nice, but not too nice.
3. Her lying.
Conway’s cover up of Donald Trump’s blatant lies to the American people was never so clear as when she defended Trump’s lies, saying they’re OK because he doesn’t think he’s lying. The Atlantic pointed out, “Since taking over Trump’s flailing campaign in August , Conway has become famous for her insistence on Trump’s looking-glass version of reality — in which conspiracy theories merit consideration but reported facts are suspect.” Griffin, who has always been known to tell the truth and nothing but, will have to get accustomed to having her fingers crossed behind her back like Conway and her boss.
4. How she closes her eyes at the end of sentences.
Conway’s eyes close for extended periods of times while she is talking, so much so that many freeze frames of her capture her with her eyes closed. If you watch, her eyes shut for a second or two longer than a regular blink. This is probably because she is worried that the American people will be able to peer into the depths of her soul and find out there isn’t one there. Which leads us to our last bullet…
5. Have no soul.
As a former spokesperson for the Jeb Bush campaign recently said, “She has no shame, and that is a quality the president values.” Her latest shameless and soulless act just happened this morning during an appearance on Fox & Friends, when she berated Hillary Clinton for only being able to earn $25,000 for her speeches.
“I also took note that it was publicly reported she got about $25,000 for that speech,” Conway said. “Woo! She used to get ten times that folks, ten times that. When she was given speeches before she lost her second presidential election.”
We hope our list helps Kathy Griffin for her portrayal next week of Conway. Oh, and Kathy, one more tip before we go: make sure you bathe right after with flea shampoo. You’re gonna need it.