Every year, lesbian political science major Brice Ehmig has seen the same anti-gay pastors on the campus of Florida Gulf Coast University shouting at her classmates. The pastors compare homosexuality to beastiality and say things like “Porn leads to Hell,” “If you wear shorts like that you are asking to be raped” and “If you study the sciences, you are going against God”. Then they record their hostile interactions with angry cops and citizens as proof of their ‘religious persecution.’ Ehmig finally got sick of it and decided to take revenge using one of her hidden talents — the bagpipes.
You see, Ehmig has been playing the bagpipes for 10 years. So while Pastor McHateypants droned on about how “God has standards,” Ehmig played a long medley version of Amazing Grace, a tune she calls “a classic tune of spiritual rejuvenation and wholesome melancholy”, and followed him around, her girlfriend and other students laughing nearby.
Ehmig told The Daily Record:
“I could see in his eyes and the tense veins in his face and neck that he was enraged by my presence. So after four minutes I did give him some space for a little bit. Then he started going on more about homosexuality, and earned my relentless playing even more so. I then called over my girlfriend and gave her a big kiss right in front of the ‘preacher’ and group of people watching.”
Ehmig adds that she felt particularly targeted because in the past the pastors have yelled at her while holding hands with her girlfriend.
Even if you don’t like the bagpipes, you gotta admit they’re nicer to hear than a bunch of homophobic bible-banging. And while it’s likely that the hate pastor and his pals will return, they’ll never forget the time they got drowned out by Ehmig and Amazing Grace; amen, sister.