Naked Truth: Sexy Gear For Your Orgasmic Queer Honeymoon

Naked Truth: Sexy Gear For Your Orgasmic Queer Honeymoon

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First comes love, then comes constitutionally supported, nationally-recognized, fucking-finally, legalized marriage equality. Then? Well, then comes your orgasmic, sexy, queer honeymoon, of course. We’ve all worked really hard getting our marriage laws where they proudly are today. Now it’s time to kick back and let us do the packing for a honeymoon full of fun, frills and fucking.

The Harder She Comes, erotica, book, sexy, queer

Start your super-queer honeymoon right with some extra sticky-sweet plane reading like The Harder She Comes: Butch/Femme Erotica edited by DL King, Take Me There: Trans & Genderqueer Erotica edited by Tristan Taormino, and Best Gay Erotica 2015 edited by Rob Rosen. Packed with LGBTQ quickies sure to quicken your heart rate, you may just get inspired enough to join the “mile high club” before you even touch down in your honeymoon destination.

we vibe, sex app, sex toy, smartphone, iphone

The future of queer equality sure is looking bright, especially with high-tech sex toys such as Lelo’s remote-controlled egg vibrator and the We-Vibe 4Plus, which keeps couples connected with its own app allowing you to control your partner’s vibe from a foot to a continent away all with a swipe on your phone.

dildo, sex toy, purple, pink, Share Vibe

Now that you’re legally married and all, you’ll have joint everything: bank accounts, new home loans… you may as well embrace it and be joined at the — well, y’know — with new double-ended dildos that make strap-less, shareable penetration more doable than ever. The ShareVibe doubles your pleasure with an ergonomic, hands-free design and a strategically-placed vibrator while the Sonic Silicone Double Dildo’s sleek & slender form is perfect for your synchronized backdoor exploring.

Je Joue Mio, sex toy, cockring

If you like it, then you should probably put a ring on it. Get that band on your spouse’s hand and then get a vibrating ring, like the Je Joue Mio, on your actual favorite part of his anatomy. The pleasant pressure applied to your groom’s best man increases sensation and stiffness for him while Mio’s six settings add a little pleasurable penetrative buzz for you. Don’t be exclusionary, now, this is about equality! Flip the ring over to add vibration to his low-hanging station or slip Mio around a dildo for your girl-on-girl grind.

ball gag, ASLAN Leather, BDSM

Whoever said being the ol’ ball-n-chain was a bad thing? Revel in being romantically restrained with luxurious, wedding-worthy BDSM gear by ASLAN Leather like their Pink & White Ball Gag and matching Pink Candy Cuffs which are sweet enough for your sweetums and will surely make your new bride blush.

FYI by Dani Read, lingerie, queer, sexy, lesbian, women, couple

Get beautifully adorned for your adored with sexy lingerie from queer-owned and queer-minded lingerie companies like FYI by Dani Read that highlights the leather-loving hard femme or TomboyX, a company owned by a lesbian couple that specializes in the art of the butch brief.

women, lesbian, queer, underwear, rodeo h

Harness your excitement with sexy femme strap-em-ons like corset-inspired, girly-detailed Bella by SpareParts or more blissfully boi-ish varieties by RodeoH which both fit a variety of dildos, offer a comfortable fit, and double as lingerie with their super sex-appeal.

Finally, don’t forget to pack the lube for… well… everything. Affirm your new legal love with Yes! Organic Water-Based Lube, keep your pleasure-play pristine with Good Clean Love’s organic gel-based based lube (extra-great for anything anal) or, if you’ve been waiting for marriage equality for a loooooooooong time and things aren’t as slick as they used to be, re-hydrate extra-dry dirty bits with a clingy, oil-based lube like Yes! Oil (which isn’t latex compatible but is post-menopausily perfect).

Marriage equality! We did it! Now go on and celebrate by doin’ it. Happy honeymoonin’!

(featured image via José Manuel Ríos Valiente)

Yana Tallon-Hicks is Unicorn Booty’s sex and relationship advice columnist. Yana currently studies Marriage & Family Therapy in the hopes of becoming the best damn queer sex therapist in the land. She received her undergrad in sexuality studies & sex education. She geeks out about lube, practices often to achieve perfection and just wants you to have an orgasm. Yana’s sexpertise has appeared many times in the pages of the Valley Advocate and can also be found in Curve, Bitch,, and The Toast. Find her at Facebook and on Instagram @the_vspot.

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