Nico Tortorella and Bethany Meyers opened up to Hornet during an interview on the red carpet at the GLAAD Media Awards Rising Stars Luncheon in New York City this last Friday. The couple, who’ve been in a polyamorous relationship for 11 years, tied the knot earlier this year.
“On paper, I think to the naked eye, Bethany and I still very much represent a cis-man and cis-woman who got married,” Tortorella explains.
He continues, “Inside of the community, it has been some sort of question on exactly who we are and what our representation is. But in our relationship and in our own identities and expressions, we are so much more fluid than that in our sexuality and our genders. And we are kind of redefining that for ourselves right now.”
“It’s been interesting now that we have solidified this foundation between the two of us, to then see all of the others places that we can go,” Meyers tells us. “In a very small example, this week we are playing with clothing and our gender-bending closet. There’s these small areas where are able to find a lot of expression in ourselves. It’s been great.”
Tortorella wore Christian Siriano “women’s wear” to the Rising Stars luncheon on Friday and to the GLAAD Media Awards on Saturday night, while Meyers donned genderless looks herself.
Tortorella says, “At the end of the day, yes, it matters so much, but we don’t have to take it all so seriously all the fucking time, you know? There needs to be a sense of humility in what we’re doing and why we’re here and that should be celebrated more often.”
When asked if they think they don’t take this subject matter too seriously, Tortorella responds, “There are moments when we take it seriously, just life in general, not just our marriage, you know?”
“I think everyone does,” he continues. “But we didn’t get into this relationship or this marriage for the social justice or for the social activism. This is who we are, and we’ve always been talking about this. People talk about their relationships and talk about love. And yes, ours is a little non-traditional but it’s the only thing we know.”
Meyers adds, “What’s been really special is seeing so many people telling us, ‘Thank you for sharing your story because I relate to that.’ There’s not a lot of people who are doing this in a public light. So it’s been very inspiring to hear the people who are coming forward and saying, ‘My partner and I are defining what an open relationship look likes.'”
She continues, “As we figure it out ourselves, it’s empowering to be able to share that experience with other people and watch this community come together. We’re not the only ones who feel this way, so to be able to shine some light on that has been great.”
Meyers and Tortorella are pushing boundaries, in more ways than one. Sure, their gender-bending style choices on the red carpet are bold. But what’s more fascinating is their intense commitment to challenging ideas of sexuality, gender and polyamory in the confines of a relationship and marriage.
In the end, their commitment to each other is what holds out above all else, and from our vantage point, we can tell that’s the one thing they’re sure of most.
What’s next for the pair? World domination they tell us.
“And it’s people all over the world,” Tortorella continues. “Our politics have been so U.S.-centric for so long, because it’s all we’ve known. I think we’re both really excited to take this conversation globally.”