STUDY: Numbers Prove Which of ‘The Golden Girls’ Was the Sluttiest

STUDY: Numbers Prove Which of ‘The Golden Girls’ Was the Sluttiest

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About a year ago, a fan of The Golden Girls — that beloved sitcom about four older lady-friends living together in Miami — counted up the men each woman dated. But this is the internet, so her final article said ‘slept with’ instead of ‘dated’ because sex sells. But as many of you know, a date does not always equal sex, so instead, we’ve just used the numbers to determine which one was the sluttiest because you can totally be a date-slut even if no one scores.

And to be absolutely clear: we’re not hating — we love sluts. We eat them for breakfast (and you are what you eat). #SlutPride

That being said, the numbers weren’t as easy to calculate as you’d might think, and the entire methodology seems pretty questionable, but let’s have fun anyway!

Fans of the show know that man-hungry Southern Belle Blanche Devereaux was easily the sluttiest — she often bragged of her romantic conquests with all sorts of dudes. Her official count was 164, but that doesn’t include “multiple men celebrating her birthday, or the exact number of the Flying Fanelli Brothers” that she dated. Wow. Did she date them all at once? She got more action that their trapeze.

Although Rose only mentioned 30 dates during the show, at one point in season seven she mentioned having had 56 boyfriends before getting married; though she says she was a virgin before the honeymoon — handies don’t count, right?

But at this point, it gets even more confusing. For instance, Dorothy only went on 43 dates, but the researchers say that most of those dates came from “multiple dalliances” with her cheating ex-husband, which means we’re counting multiple dates with the same person. So the numbers above are actually just a rough count of dates WE KNOW ABOUT. We can never really know the number of overall dates or how many men each actually saw. Oh, the challenges of research!

Last but not least, the oldest of the crew, Sophia, reportedly dated 25 men, but that includes Spanish singer Julio Iglesias. She SAYS she dated the international music star, but did she actually or was that just her being outrageous as always? Either way, the Golden Girl got bizzay, making fine role models for those hoping to have active social and sexual lives well into our golden years.


Thank you for being a slut.

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