Admittedly, until today we had never even heard of spintria, ancient Roman coins with pictures of various sex acts along with the going rate printed right on them. But suddenly, we are obsessed!
Spintria were used at the height of the Roman Empire so that the melting pot full of people speaking all sorts of languages could still buy sex with the greatest of ease. According to these coins, it looks like a little anal action was the most affordable type of sex in the ancient world. Works for us!
A little one-leg-up action will set you back just a bit more…
The old…uh…whatever the heck this means costs even more. (Not worth it!)
Followed by what we are going to assume is doggy-style. Then again, to assume makes an ASS out of U and ME. (Again, works for us!) Do you think the prostitutes provided you with the leash or you had to bring your own?
A blowie will surprisingly cost you even more. Perhaps because hygiene was not up to today’s standards? We certainly wouldn’t put our face in any B.C. lap.
See, now things are just getting confusing… That hand had better be made of…um…tongue…if I’m going to pay more for a handjob than that thing with the leash up there. Ripoff!
Now this is just getting downright confusing. Cowgirl costs what?! Hello! I could get four anal sessions for that price! Sure it’s nice to not have to do all of the work, but who can afford it in these uncertain economic times?