Your Mom Was Wrong: Unicorns ARE Real! News

Your Mom Was Wrong: Unicorns ARE Real!

Written by Matt Keeley on April 26, 2017
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Think back to your childhood — you were drawing a unicorn, maybe watching The Last Unicorn or My Little Pony, and you asked your mom, your dad or teacher if you could see a real unicorn… but they said they didn’t exist. Dreams shattered!

Well, get your I-Told-You-So pants on, because unicorns are real, mothafucka. And we’re not even talking about the ones from circus and freak shows that are just goats with their horns fused into their skulls.

unicorn, goat, unicorn goat, real unicorns
This goat is real, adorable and really adorable, but NOT a true unicorn. (Photo via Richard Bonzer/Flickr)

Researchers in Siberia have discovered a new skull from Elasmotherium sibiricum, better known as the Siberian unicorn. The animal was previously thought to have gone extinct 350,000 years ago (roughly 150,000 years before humans ever showed up) — but this skull is from a mere 29,000 years ago. That’s still before humans formed civilizations as we know them, but humans and Siberian unicorns existed together for quite some time.

Now, unfortunately, the Siberian unicorn won’t be confused for our modern conception of unicorns. They looked more like furry rhinos than modern horses — but they make up for that with a truly massive horn. Wishes aplenty!

unicorn, real unicorn, rhino, one horn
Overcompensate much? (Illustration by Bogdanov/Wikimedia Commons)

“That’s a copout, that’s a rhino! I wanted to see a horse with a horn,” we hear you cry. And we might agree with you… until, at least, we remind you that rhinos are the closest living relative to the horseBoo ya.

On one hand, we shouldn’t be surprised that the Siberian unicorn and humans existed at the same time — there’s cave art in France (admittedly just a bit of a hike from Siberia) that depicts a relative from the Elasmotherium genus.

What other mythical creatures will we find out aren’t quite so mythical? Our bet’s on the Mongolian Death Worm!

"Hey, guys! How's it goin'?" (illustration by DarthReaverX/DeviantArt)
“Hey, guys! How’s it goin’?” (illustration by DarthReaverX/DeviantArt)

(Featured image via Best & Worst Ever Photo Blog)

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