You’ve probably read a zillion stories about San Francisco’s insane rent prices. Here’s just a taste of headlines from this month alone:
San Francisco Chronicle: Why Your Rent Will Rise Again This Year
One intrepid man has come up with a novel solution to cutting costs — listing himself as an apartment amenity.
That’s right! Just look at San Francisco’s Craigslist housing section under rooms & shares for a post entitled “Asian Engineer Seeking Boyfriend to Live Together in One Bedroom Place”, and you’ll find a $1500 a month, 200-square-foot apartment in the Castro/Upper Market area that has a small bedroom, bathroom, living/dining room area, kitchen… oh yeah, and an instant boyfriend!
The ad reads:
Are you tired of trying to find a room in the city and be subject to all the competition from other room-hunters? I am looking for someone who want to explore the possibility of becoming boyfriends with me and moving in together to a one-bedroom place and we each can pay half. That would be affordable and we would have a lot of choices in the city!
I am not saying we will move in right away. But if can works out in a couple months of knowing each other, then I think it is a feasible plan. Asian engineer here, 30 year old, down-to-earth, masculine, nice, intelligent and entrepreneurial. Love conversations of all kinds and likes trying new things. Let me know if you wanna chat.
First off, this posting totally goes against Craigslist’s rules; it should be in the M4M section next to posts like “Rim My Ass,” “Hard Banana Here,” and “I WANT TWINKS N BOYS TO PLOW MY HOLE” (all real ads, btw).
Second, we can learn a lot about this potential boyfriend from his ad. It doesn’t contain a face or torso shot or physical stats (strike one). It also has some subject-verb disagreement which suggests that either English isn’t his first language (very cool) or that he doesn’t give a damn about proper editing (strike two).
Lastly, if his ad was in the M4M section, we’d know that all of his descriptors are really just euphemistic codewords for something else. For example, “down to earth” sometimes means “smokes weed” or “addicted to painkillers.” “Masculine” can mean “has internalized homophobia” or “is secretly a power bottom.” And “likes trying new things” means that he’s probably down for fetish play, if you play your cards right. So many possibilities!
While his romantic-business ad probably breaks several laws, you still have to admire his ingenuity. This two-birds-with-one-stone mentality is a quality you want in a mate, someone you can depend on when the next housing crisis hits or cuddle with when the entire city goes underwater.
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