If you like Christmas music, you’ll love musician Danielle LoPresti’s music video cover of the 1952 classic, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”. No, it’s not a song about Yuletide adultery; Santa is obviously the child-narrator’s other parent. But it’s still one of the only Christmas songs that has foreplay in it (not counting the date-rapey “Baby It’s Cold Outside”).
In the video, LoPresti’s real-life child totally cock-blocks Santa (or should we say box-blocks?). But presto! Santa turns out to be LoPresti’s actual wife. And instead of unwrapping each other’s gifts, Santa and company tucker-out their little tyke with some holiday fun… at which point Santa and Mommy crawl into bed when GOD DAMN IT!! THE KID WAKES UP AND BOX-BLOCKS THEM AGAIN!!!
Here’s a parenting tip: stir a little whiskey into your kid’s egg nog. It’ll keep visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads while you and Santa stuff each other’s stockings.
Read more stories by just signing up
or Download the App to read the latest stories