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See You In Court! Nebraska Woman Files Suit Against All Gays And Their Allies News

See You In Court! Nebraska Woman Files Suit Against All Gays And Their Allies

Written by Matt Keeley on May 07, 2015
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UPDATE: A judge has apparently thrown out her petition without even holding a hearing. Awwwww! And we were gonna wear our nice pantsuit too (not the slutty Studio 54 one, but the classy one with the shoulder tassels).

– – –

Get your court clothes ready… we’re being sued! No, not Unicorn Booty – we’re the most upright citizens you’ll ever find — but you and me! Basically, everyone reading this. And those of us writing this. And probably everyone you know.

A  woman has filed a court case (no foolin’) against homosexuals and their “alis”; we’re guessing she means “allies”? Sylvia Driscoll (not pictured above) — a 66-year-old from Auburn, Nebraska and self-declared ambassador of God — filed suit in federal court May 1.  In her petition to the court, she wants Judge John M. Gerrard to declare that homosexuality is a sin.

Sure, that doesn’t seems like something for a federal judge to decide, but hey.  At least it reminds me of one of my favorite Achewood strips:

[media-credit name=”Chris Onstad/Achewood.com” align=”aligncenter” width=”700″]achewood,chris onstad,homosexuals,gorilla[/media-credit]

And, if you’re curious, we’ve included the ENTIRE HANDWRITTEN petition to the court below.  It’s worth a read.

sylvia driscoll,homosexuals,court case,nebraskasylvia driscoll,homosexuals,court case,nebraska

sylvia driscoll,homosexuals,court case,nebraska

sylvia driscoll,homosexuals,court case,nebraskasylvia driscoll,homosexuals,court case,nebraskasylvia driscoll,homosexuals,court case,nebraskasylvia driscoll,homosexuals,court case,nebraska

We should seriously consider the possibility that Ms. Driscoll might be mentally disabled; either that or she’s a serious religious fanatic — neat cursive like that doesn’t happen unless you’ve got issues. Either way, it’s bad karma to make fun of a mentally disabled person, but if Sylvia has her way, we’re all going to Hell anyway, or at the very least, Omaha.

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