milk mustache, semen, sperm, sex
milk mustache, semen, sperm, sex

Should You Introduce Semen Into Your Diet?

For some of us, thinking of the smell, taste and feel of semen makes us salivate (’tis true!). But for those who enjoy swallowing jism, do you know what you’re putting in your body? For all the jokes about protein shakes, semen only contains between five and 25 calories, and just about half a gram of protein per load.

So, is it a healthy part of a balanced breakfast? Let’s take a look at the facts, starting with what semen is.

Pre-Cum

Produced by glands around the urethra, the clear, slippery appetizer neutralizes residual urine that might injure a man’s sperm. But that’s not all! The versatile pre-cum also acts as homemade lube. While we don’t know all the chemicals that make up pre-cum, we do know it contains many salts — including lots of sodium chloride (or common table salt).

Semen Composition

Sperm only composes about five to ten percent of each load. The rest of it is made of alkaline compounds that protect sperm from the acidic vaginal environment and give jizz its distinct aroma and flavor. Other alkaline foods (of the more traditional sort) include bananas, carrots, asparagus, leeks, and even some non-phallic looking fruits and vegetables!

Semen also contains sugars like fructose and glucose, as well as many essential minerals like calcium, magnesium, potassium and zinc. Some claim that a man’s diet can influence the taste and chemical profile of semen. However, no scientific study has ever confirmed this. Many factors may come in to play when it comes to semen production, and it’s unclear if diet has any impact. Still, if your man’s spunk has a whiff of the funk, tell him to drink a ton of pineapple juice to make his semen sweeter. It can’t hurt!

Likewise, it’s been thought that vegetarians have better tasting sperm. Again, even though there isn’t science to confirm or deny a link between diet and the taste of semen, meat does cause an increase of uric acid in the blood. While we don’t know for sure, it’s possible that the lower levels of uric acid in a vegetarian’s blood could result in lower levels in semen — uric acid tastes bitter, so semen without as much could taste sweeter comparatively.

Still, more research needs to be done to know for sure. If you’re interested in volunteering, contact your local biologist today!

Beware of Infection

A reminder: pre-cum and semen can transport a host of sexually transmitted infections. HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, even Ebola can hide in your spunk. Before tasting, ingesting or bathing in some boy’s buttermilk, make sure you trust that he’s been tested. Hopefully, it’s just his laugh that’s infectious.

Part of a Complete Meal?

Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer loves semen so much, he wrote two recipe books to spread his bliss. Semenology is for all you mixologists looking to serve the most unique drinks. Watch him making his Macho Mojito:

Photenhauer’s other book, Natural Harvest, has recipes for all occasions, and his website Cooking with Cum has even more semen recipes!

So when it comes to swallowing a load, hopefully you now have a better idea what you’re consuming. Bon appetit!

(featured image via Grant Lindsey)