STUDY: Internet Masturbators Want Bernie Sanders On Top And A More Liberal Country
From December 21, 2015 to February 29, 2016, the porn tube site Pornhub conducted a survey of over 371,000 users (ie. internet masturbators) and asked them about their political affiliations, preferred candidates and positions on different social issues. Turns out that 73.4 percent of masturbating Democrats want Bernie Sanders for President (the crotch-rubbing Republicans favor Donald Trump, naturally).
Turns out that masturbating web-users also largely favor legalized marijuana, increased Planned Parenthood funding, less domestic surveillance, continued “birthright citizenship” and real action to counteract climate change and rising college debt. Sadly, the poll did not tell us what kind of porn political supporters savor most: are Bernie supporters into BDSM? Are Hillary lovers into femdom? The American electorate demands answers!! And lube — we want more lube!!
All this is well and good, provided that the poll takers (see what we did there?) stop jerking-off/rubbing-out long enough to actually go out and vote. Anyhow, here’s some infographics from the survey’s results: