Subway’s Meat Tubes Expand An Extra Inch
Finally, some good news for people who like shoving meat in their faces! Those five-dollar footlongs you used to scarf down are about to get a little bit longer, thanks to a class action suit which accused sandwich chain Subway of exaggerating the length of their bread.
The suit was filed in eastern Wisconsin after one Australian customer posted a photo of his eleven inch “footlong” next to a tape measure. The post went viral and that’s when lawyers smelled an opportunity! From one of several legal briefs filed: “The loss of 8.3 percent of a $5 sandwich is far too small to warrant individual litigation by an individual consumer. Yet while the individual loss to any one class member is small, the aggregate effect of Subway’s misconduct is large.”
The preliminary deal was announced in October and finalized earlier this month. The chain agreed to use new bread-measuring tools to ensure that the footlongs are, in fact, a foot long. Now Doctor’s Associates Inc., Subway’s oddly named parent company, will pull out their tape measures each month for the next four years to make sure that there’s no false advertising going on. (Interesting piece of trivia: Subway was started a half-century ago by a 17-year old in Connecticut who wanted to sell sandwiches to pay for medical school. Hence Doctor’s Associates.)
If only these Doctor’s Associates could follow us with their calipers to navigate the world of online hookups. That might help us steer clear of the guys on Hornet who brag about an extra 8.3 percent that’s not really there. The size isn’t so important, but lying is a total no-no.
Subway rose to the top of the fast food heap within the last decade by cleverly positioning themselves as a healthy alternative to burger joints. They’ve passed McDonald’s as America’s number one fast food chain. This is funny, because their most popular sandwiches involve pepperoni and bacon and ranch dressing, oh yeah, and their sandwiches are a foot long.
What’s less funny is the company’s track record with employees. Back in October an Indiana franchise owner fired one employee for being HIV positive, and a few years ago another franchisee fired gay porn star Kurt Wild after he was recognized by an irate customer who obviously watched a ton of gay porn but who apparently couldn’t bear seeing the young man in the real world.
(featured image via BuBBy/Flickr)