Sugar daddies are like the golden unicorns of the gay world. They’re rare (almost legendary), but if you look hard enough (or are just lucky), you might stumble onto an older man willing to spend money for the company of a younger guy.
YouTuber Sebastian Rhodes found a sugar daddy while using Hornet, and he recently shared his story in a revealing video that provides a few good things to keep in mind while searching for your own golden unicorn.
Here are 5 of Rhodes’ insights on snagging a sugar daddy:
1. Safety is important.
Although Rhodes says his sugar daddy experience ended well, with the two of them enjoying a fun night together and the man dropping him off at home the next day, Rhodes says, “I could have ended up dead in a ditch.”
It’s smart not to be blinded by money and good looks. Try to get the person’s name and learn some details about them before meeting up, always let a friend know what you’re doing and where you’re going, and have an escape plan in case the chemistry is off.
2. Sugar daddies also offer maturity.
Even though Rhodes’ sugar daddy was only 10 years older than him, Rhodes still found value in his company because a lot of guys Rhodes’ own age are university students who aren’t as driven or ambitious as him.
“I wanted something different for myself,” he says.
So while sugar daddies can provide nice meals and gifts, they can also provide maturity and life experience. For some, the main objective of securing a sugar daddy may be gifts and free travel, but you can also get a lot out of talking to them and learning about their life experiences.
3. For some, sugar daddies are an opportunity to live out your dreams.
Rhodes says, “He used to say to me, ‘We’ve got unlimited funds. You can pick and we can do whatever you want,’ which usually put my brain in overdrive.”
He adds, “I liked it because I got to experience a lifestyle that was completely different from my own.”
It easy to feel like you’re “taking advantage” of a sugar daddy, but most sugar daddies are well aware of the arrangement and are looking to spend money to spend time with a young, adventurous guy.
4. It helps if you actually like your sugar daddy.
Remembering his sugar daddy, Rhodes says, “We definitely had a lot of fun. And I look back on all those memories very fondly. I have nothing negative to say about him. He was very respectful. He was a lot of fun. And he wasn’t like a seedy old man.”
If you find your sugar daddy repulsive, the fun could quickly fade, or you may find yourself resenting him before too long. Remember, actual attraction and chemistry matter. Even if he’s not your ideal, it helps to appreciate his good qualities and to accept his human flaws. Money can’t buy everything.
5. You may end up developing feelings for your sugar daddy.
Rhodes admits, “I did end up falling for him, but he had to move for work halfway round the fucking world. … I wanted him to take me with him.”
Even if it starts purely as a hookup or financial arrangement, there’s always the possibility that you’ll get romantically attached to your sugar daddy. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing — emotional romance can heighten the fun and pleasure, and it’s not unheard of for a sugar daddy to turn into a boyfriend.
But be prepared to let it go if it’s only temporary. After all, sugar babies have to grow up sometime.