straight pride ted hickman
straight pride ted hickman

California Elected Official Pens Homophobic Essay Calling for ‘Straight Pride American Month’

Ted Hickman is the vice mayor of Dixon, California, a small city 23 miles to the west of the state’s capital, Sacramento. Hickman also has his own column, “That’s Life,” in the local paper Independent Voice, a “weekly tongue-in-cheek column” that he started in the ’60s.

For his latest, Hickman penned a homophobic essay that declares July 1 the start of “Straight Pride American Month,” refers to gay men as “faries” (yes, that’s how he spelled it) and suggests that gay people have an “inferior complex” (again with the spelling). A copy of the column can also be found on Hickman’s website.

ted hickman straight pride recall
Ted Hickman

Hickman claims the column and his calls for a special day for heterosexual pride is “not really legally anti anything; instead it’s pro-family; and proud to be a straight American, and me expressing a private opinion… So there!”

Hickman writes:

Last Sunday ended LGBTQF-WTF month Yea! (*Don’t get me wrong I support the First Amendment, as much as the next person, and support the rights of grown men to wear skin tight short-shorts and go-go boots and don tinker bell wings with wand and prance down the streets of San Francisco) with tens of thousands of folks dancing and prancing all over American [sic] celebrating the fact they are different than most of the rest of us and showing their ‘pride’ in being so.

RELATED | A Short, Stupid History of Straight Pride Parades

Now hundreds of millions of the rest of us can celebrate our month, peaking on July 4th, as healthy, heterosexual, fairly monogamous, keep our kinky stuff to ourselves, Americans. We do it with our parades in every state and county in this country with families celebrating together. We honor our country and our veterans who have made all of this possible (including for the tinker bells) and we can do it with actual real pride, not some put on show just to help our inferior complex ‘show we are different’ type of crap.

We ARE different from them…We work, have families, (and babies we make) enjoy and love the company (and marriage) of the opposite sex and don’t flaunt our differences dressing up like faries and prancing by the thousands in a parade in nearby San Francisco to be televised all over the world…

Wow. What a turd.

RELATED | Watch Miz Cracker and Miles Jai Read ‘Straight Pride’ YouTube Commenters to Filth

Newsflash for Hickman: they are plenty of fairies who have families they “actually make,” who are in monogamous relationships and who are super proud to be American. Hickman’s ideas of gayness and queerness are not only homophobic and vile but also completely outdated.

Sure, a lot of us get on a Pride float every June in nothing but a Speedo and some tanning oil, but that’s hardly something exclusive to the LGBT community. There are also plenty of LGBTQ people at those same parades and marches standing on the sidelines with their kids, slathering suntan lotion on the young ones’ faces and grabbing juice boxes from the stroller.

ted hickman straight pride
Ted Hickman apparently thinks this is the only valid “American family.”

Ted Hickman ends his column with a pathetic attempt at comedy.

“And yes, before it becomes an issue, I do believe in fairies; I’ve seen them in SF for myself,” he writes. “Let’s see if I can remember the Peter Pan story about believing in faries…oh yeal, so according to ‘Wikipedia’ faries are powered ‘bypiezoelectric’ crystals which can be energized by sound waves like made by clapping. So, right now if you don’t want any faries to expire, you can clap your hands. See, I do have a heart I just can’t type and clap at the same time… so I had to make a hard choice didn’t I?”

(And yes, all of those typos appeared in the print edition of his column as well.)

RELATED | There’s Finally a ‘Straight Pride’ Pin for Proud Heterosexuals Who Want to Be Gross and Obnoxious

Hickman defended his call for Straight Pride American Month during an interview with the Sacramento Bee, telling that paper, “It was tongue-in-cheek and had nothing to do with my elected position [and that] thin-skinned people took offense.”

ted hickman column
The Ted Hickman column calling for Straight Pride American Month

But the people of Dixon, California, don’t agree, and there’s actually a push to recall the Ted Hickman.

A Facebook group titled “Recall Ted Hickman, Vice Mayor of Dixon, CA,” popped up quickly in direct response to the column. The group had more than 800 followers as of this article’s publication. The page’s creators are planning a protest at Dixon City Council’s next meeting on July 10. There’s also going to be an LGBTQ Pride event planned on July 28, showing Dixon that LGBTQ pride is an all-year affair and not just something that happens in June.

“We believe bigotry has no place in public office in the State of California. We will see you soon, and many times, Hickman. We look forward to filing the petition for your recall,” reads one post on the page.

Dixon Mayor Thom Bogue said he was made aware of the Ted Hickman column by a concerned resident. “While I do not approve of such an article — in my belief we are all American U.S. citizens where sexual (preference) shouldn’t play a role — I do believe in a person’s freedom of speech even when I don’t like what they are saying,” says Bogue. “Aside from that, a person also has to recognize the consequences of their statements. … It is not within my capabilities to sanction an elected official for what they wish to publish in the paper, nor would I. That is up to constituents within his district to determine if he represents their beliefs.”

To conclude, we’ll leave you (and Ted Hickman) with this quote explaining why “Straight Pride” isn’t actually a thing: “Gay Pride was not born of a need to celebrate being gay, but our right to exist without persecution. So instead of wondering why there isn’t a Straight Pride movement, be thankful you don’t need one.”

What do you think of the Ted Hickman column?

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