cop grabs his boner, Austin, video
cop grabs his boner, Austin, video

The Dark Story Behind The “Cop Grabs His Boner” Guy

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Right now, the boner-loving internet is abuzz over a funny six-second GIF of a cop who inadvertently grabs a handful of an attractive guy’s junk and then quickly realizes the weapon he’s holding isn’t the kind that shoots bullets. The six-second GIF, helpfully titled “Cop grabs his boner,” has scored over six million times in just a few days; but like the hunky Chicago jogger who turned out to be affiliated with an anti-gay church, this guy’s story is darker than the GIF suggests…

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A seven-minute Youtube video from 2014 (below) provides some backstory, which is less funny. It turns out the guy had been harassing the female building manager and other employees of the Triangle Apartments in Austin, Texas. They got him to leave their office and called 911, and while he raged in the foyer, the office employees pulled out a phone to record him until the cops arrived.

He screams in what seems to be a made-up language, slaps himself repeatedly and then takes his shirt off. He also removes his belt (brandishing it like a whip), unbuttons his jeans and moons the women who are undoubtedly scared.

In the full video, you barely notice the overly friendly patdown; though you do get to see the cops go back for a second feel. Watching it, it seems the guy has some mental issues (he claims to have low blood sugar), and watching him rage like an angry zoo animal, you can’t help but almost feel a little sorry for the guy. Meanwhile, folks who only saw the GIF only concentrated on his furry sexiness and his large package, not his anger or psychological state; can’t blame them for not knowing.

Strangely, cop-boner grab videos are actually kind of a thing… here’s another one! This time the cop seems a little more well-behaved, and actually apologizes for the penis grab.

Police officer performs a frisky frisk

Finally, here’s perhaps the most epic cop penis grab in history.

The man in the video above is Paul Charles Dozsa and this footage is from when he was arrested for skipping out on the bill after a “succulent Chinese meal.” The former chess champion got arrested many, many times for that particular crime over a long career of skipping out on bills at five-star restaurants. Dozsa claimed to be from a noble Hungarian noble family, which might explain the uppity tone, although he also blamed his performance on a “state of inebriation.”