madonna, bitch i'm madonna, nicki minaj, taylor swift
madonna, bitch i'm madonna, nicki minaj, taylor swift

Undecided Voter? Madonna Will Blow You To Vote Hillary!

It’s hard to imagine that anyone’s still an undecided voter, but hey — last week, Ken Bone got famous for being one. But if there’s something that’s going to push anyone off the fence, it’s probably this:

That’s right — if you vote for Hillary, Madonna will give you a blow job. She made the claim while opening for Amy Schumer at Madison Square Garden. Given that Madonna wrote the book on Sex, you probably know that she knows what she’s doing… but, of course, if you’re not sure between Hillary and Trump, you might not be hitting on all cylinders — so let her convince you:

If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blow job, okay? You know I’m good. I’m good. I’m not a douche, and I’m not a tool. I take my time. I have a lot of eye contact. Yeah, and I do swallow.

We think this might be enough to sway most hardcore Trump fans too — if nothing else, wouldn’t voting for Hillary be worth it for the story of your night with Madonna?

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