man, woman, runner, bulge, breast, marathon, race
man, woman, runner, bulge, breast, marathon, race

Where To Find The World’s Biggest Boobs, Dongs, Sluts

Where should a size queen go hunting for meat? Where can avid bird-watchers find full-breasted varieties? Those are just two of many questions answered in the new book Vargic’s Miscellany of Curious Maps: Mapping out the Modern World, featuring 51 world maps hand-drawn by 17-year old Slovakian cartographer Martin Vargic. The book contains maps revealing about food staples, literary movements, stereotypes, sports, lightning strikes, heavy metal bands and tractors. Perhaps the most useful maps are its handy guides to wiener and boob sizes around the globe.

Vargic's world penis size map
Vargic’s world penis size map

All kinds of dodgy sites will give exact figures for this sort of thing. FunnyJunk, Mandatory, and EveryoneWeb, to name three.

The top 5 countries for penis size are allegedly Democratic Republic of Congo (7.1″), Ecuador (6.9″), Ghana (6.8″), with neighbors Venezuela and Colombia tied for fourth at 6.7″. At the other end of the spectrum are five Asian countries: Taiwan and the Philippines are at 4.2″, with India and Thailand slightly smaller (4″). And the smallest schlongs of all apparently belong to North Korea (3.8″). And if that’s not Western propaganda, I’m not sure what is.

A worldwide survey of erect penises sounds like a fun porn concept, but there are two things to remember. One, the numbers were largely self-reported. Are Hungarians, who claim an average 6.5″ length, really better-endowed than the rest of Europeans? And two, penis size studies have actally been tied to some pretty racist Eurocentric bullshit.

Those on the smaller side have no reason to worry, though, especially when it comes to getting laid. Penis size seems totally unrelated to the number of sexual partners you’ll have in your lifetime, since mid-sized Finns (5.4″), Turks (5.5″) and Chileans (5.7″) each average over a dozen partners over their lifetimes (as you’ll see in the map below).

Martin Vargic average lifetime sex partners
Vargic’s map of average lifetime sex partners. Seems kinda on the low end for some of us, eh?

And lastly, for thirsty folks looking for a large cup (size), there’s Vargic’s map of bra sizes worldwide (below). If this maps is also Eurocentric propaganda, we wonder what message they’re trying to convey. Hmmm…

bra cup, size, breast, world map, Vargic, sexy, world
Russia’s cup runneth over!

(featured image via Sangudo)