In a viral Facebook video, a gaggle of white middle-aged harpies visit Nordstrom to declare a boycott in response to the retailer’s decision to drop Ivanka Trump’s fashion line.
“I’ve been shopping at Nordstrom for 30 years,” says a woman wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a picture of Donald Trump and the words “Haters Gonna Hate.” She continues, “And because of your decision to drop Ivanka Trump, I will no longer shop at your store. Nor will my husband or our nine children or our eight grandchildren.”
Never have the words “Bye Felicia” been more appropriate.
We can’t imagine Nordstrom will be sad to lose them. These she-beasts absolutely look like the type to abuse that ultra-lenient return policy Nordstrom used to have. These nags look like the type of customer who can’t get through a single encounter without shrieking for a manager and demanding a discount.
“We’ve decided we will shop where Ivanka shops,” one of the harridans declares. “And I’m pretty sure it’s not here.”
Yes, as far as we know, Nordstrom does not offer aluminum foil ball gowns like the ones Ivanka wears.
Meanwhile, the night-hag who later posted the video to Facebook stands and fans herself with a handful of cash.
Please, lady, don’t spend that money at Nordstrom. Spend it at a salon to fix your roots, because that bleach job is such a chemical mess it should be declared a Superfund site. That hair is such a disaster it needs a FEMA response. That ‘do is so sad Morrissey should write a song about it.
The women proudly declare that instead of shopping at Nordstrom they’re going to go spend their money at Dillard’s. (Our condolences to the employees of Dillard’s.)
The Trump family is famously furious at Nordstrom for dumping Ivanka’s designs. It’s only natural that his lumpen cultists would follow suit. They’re calling the retailer a bully for picking on a fragile little billionaire with ties to the highest seat of power in the entire world.
But what are they really mad at? Stores are abandoning Ivanka’s merchandise because people aren’t buying it. That’s not bullying. That’s just capitalism.
Conservatives worship the free market, but they don’t seem to understand how it works. The free market means that businesses can (and probably will) hire immigrants on the cheap. The free market means that companies will pander to LGBTQ customers. And the free market means that a retailer will drop a product line when it fails to generate profits.
So to anyone who’s still angry at Nordstrom, you have two choices:
- Get over it.
Anything else is just whining.
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