This Queer Man’s String of Text Messages to His Homophobic Auntie Is the Shade of Legends
Arkee E. — a black, pansexual writer who has published articles with The Huffington Post, Blavity and Afropunk — recently tweeted out screen captures of homophobic aunt text messages in which he reads her to filth for saying he’ll go to hell.
Arkee E. ain’t having it, no ma’am. And his read is bringing all the book lovers to the library.
The background story behind the homophobic aunt text messages
It’s a heartbreaking article in which he recalls his teenage relationship with his homophobic and verbally abusive father after he came home from a 13-year prison sentence. His dad immediately rejects him as “gay,” effectively killing the innocent, loving child who once looked forward to his letters from prison.
Apparently Arkee E.’s aunt read the article and sent him a text message wondering if she could ask him a question. He responded, “Sure. What’s up?”
She said, “I read that Afropunk article you wrote about your father…. Are you gay?”
He replied, “I’m pansexual which means that my attraction for people is not limited to gender identity.”
“So basically you like men,” she said.
He texted back, “I mean, yes.”
The homophobic aunt text messages….
“Sweetie, you know I love you,” she replied, “but that’s unacceptable. We don’t have gay people in our fam!” She continued, “You need to pray that shit away. It is not okay. God does not like that!!”
And then Arkee E. initially clapped back with a light touch:
Hey, I appreciate your concern about my lifestyle albeit your inactiveness in my life. You never bought me a single thing in my life.… not a cookie, not a glass of milk to dunk it in, and not a napkin to wipe my milk mustache off.
While you’re worrying about my sexuality and what God is and isn’t okay with, you are shacking up with a whole married man in your house, and you’re not even divorced from your first husband. Don’t try to point out the wood in my eye when you have a whole plank in yours.
The aunt responded, “Don’t try to judge me because you’re a faggot. I am only telling you this because I don’t want you to go to hell.”
And then begins the epic read in response to the homophobic aunt text messages
And that — ladies and gentlemen (and everyone outside and in-between) — is when Arkee E. reads her for absolute filth. Buckle up, because auntie is about to go on a long, ugly ride:
Listen here, you saggy old, uneducated former drug-addict who had her children taken away twice: You cannot judge anyone. You walked down a dangerous path, collected every sexually transmitted infection that you can, and one day decided to put on an ashy ass wig and become a woman of God.
You’re absolutely nothing. You are a disgusting old homophobe that’ll drop her shit-stained panties for any guy that smiles at you, whether they’re missing teeth or not.
And yes, I do like men. And also, the guys I go for run rings around the guys you bring home every Saturday night, right before you run to church every Sunday and act like you do no wrong.
You can’t comment on anyone’s sexuality either, sweetie. At one point in time, you was licking and sucking on clits to pay for crack instead of taking care of your children, that’s why they got taken away twice — not once, but twice.
You’re an unfit mother, an unfit grandmother, an unfit aunty, an unfit sister, an unfit pet owner and an unfit human being altogether.
Stop worrying about my lifestyle and worry about how you’re going to remove the crows feet from underneath your eyes and the potholes on your face from your meth ear, Pastor Dusty Wig. Bye, ugly.
All she could come back with was, “You are a rude little boy. I will be calling your mother!!!”
He replied, “Call your fucking sponsor, crackhead. Blocked.”
What happened after the initial homophobic aunt text messages
According to Arkee E., when he told his mother about the exchange, she replied, “Boy, why didn’t you tell her to find her dentures before running her mouth?” Dead.
Lucky for us, he posted the screen caps of their exchange on Twitter. And when someone told him that he needed to respect his elders, he responded, “Don’t tell me how to respond to targeted hate. That’s what we’re not going to do on this joyous day,” meaning his birthday which was yesterday.
He continued, “You can be Jesus, that does not make you exempt from a good read. I woulda dragged him by his flip flops too, if he said this bullshit to me.”
Arkee E. later tweeted, “My aunt that called me a faggot sent my cousin to apologize on her behalf and said because she was drinking too much. Then asked me to apologize to her, too. Fuck out of here. You being homophobic while under the influence is just you saying what you want to really say.”
The string of homophobic aunt text messages is the sweetest vat of hot tea we have seen in a good, long while. Never mess with writers — they got sharp pens, don’t ya know?
Featured image by FS-Stock via iStock