You may have heard that the officials of the 2018 Olympic Winter Games ordered a record-breaking number of condoms for the international athletes competing in Pyeongchang, South Korea. But if all the athletes are like the 10 U.S. Olympians who say pick-up lines and strip down in this this video from Cosmopolitan magazine, they probably won’t need the condoms at all because when these Olympic athletes strip, they’re cheesy and awkward AF.
Here’s what each of the athletes say:
Alpine skier Steve Nyman said, “Oh, hey babe. If you were a skiing event, I’d travel cross country for you,” and he seductively unzips his windbreaker before stepping his mouth-watering abs and pecs towards the camera.
Snowboarder Hagen Kearney says,”Hey baby, I’ve got a real big snowboard,” before unleashing his tattooed torso.
Evan Weinstock of the hella sexy Bobsled team says,”Don’t worry, ladies. I only come first, once every four years,” before sheepishly unzipping his jacket (bo-ring).
Alpine skier Travis Ganong says, “Hey baby, let me help you put that O into your Olympics,” and he awkwardly unzips his Captain American bodysuit.
“I may be a speed skater, but I’m no one-minute man,” says Joey Mantia before he changes things up and drops his pants revealing absolutely massive legs and a nice bulge too. Jesus!
Here’s the video where U.S. Olympic athletes strip:
“I’ve been carrying this Olympic torch all night. Let’s put it out at my place,” says skeleton racer John Daly, just as he unleashes his abs onto us. It’d be funnier if the skeleton racer had made a joke about “jumping your bones,” but whatever. He’s an athlete, not a comedy writer.
“I wanted the gold medal in Sochi, but I settled for the silver because I want to make sure that you come first,” says openly gay Gus Kenworthy. He then acts all shy like he hasn’t been naked in Sports Illustrated and all thirsty on Instagram.
Paralympic alpine skiier Andrew Kurka says,”I’d like to light your torch.” And then he shows off his hairy belly, muscular arms and pumps his pecs — sweet baby Moses!
Luge athlete Chris Mazdzer basically repeats Kenworthy’s line, but he’s bearded and has a furry chest, so … we’re okay with it.
Luge competitor Tucker West says, “So you know I do a sliding sport, so why don’t you slide into my DMs?”
Also, the video is all white guys. As white as the winter snow.
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