You Didn’t Have to Make This: The Bug’s Life Fleshlight
Get ready for the idiom “different strokes for different folks” to take on a whole new meaning. With the Bug’s Life Fleshlight, of course.
What was that? Oh, you know, just the Bug’s Life Fleshlight. Described as ULTRA RARE by creator Malek Lazri, the sex toy of our nightmares features Heimlich the caterpillar from A Bug’s Life. The item is advertised as “the holy grail” and “never publicly released only given to a select few high-ranking Pixar executives for personal use.” I have some severe doubts about both of these statements, but I’m willing to let them go in the name of artistic integrity, or something.
The Bug’s Life Fleshlight is notably self-valued at a whopping $2,000, as there are only four in existence.
Eagle-eyed observers will notice that the fleshlight is not exactly functional, as there’s no opening to be found. The casing is real, but filled with silicone molded in clay. The face, which I’m afraid I stared at for too long, is colored with permanent markers.
Last year, in an article abut the future of sex, Vice staff writer Samantha Cole asked two questions:
Hundreds of years from now, if sentient life still exists on Earth, when archeologists dig up the still-intact bits and pieces of plastic casings containing rubberized genitalia, what will they think of the Fleshlight?
Will it be considered an antiquated representation of how society literally objectified and commodifed sexual pleasure, or a turning point in the normalization of sex toys for all people, and our first step into a world where technology is an inseparable part of sex?
This year, in an article about the Bug’s Life Fleshlight, Vice staff writer Samantha Cole asked only “what is it and why he’s done it.”
I am deeply sorry to say that the Bug’s Life Fleshlight no longer seems to be available for purchase, on Craigslist or eBay. I can only hope that means this incredible item has been sold.
Has humanity gone too far? What would you do with a Bug’s Life Fleshlight?
Images of the Bug’s Life Fleshlight taken from eBay auction
This story was originally published in June 2020. It has since been updated.