This Valentine’s Day, Tell Someone to ‘Eat a Dick’ by Mailing Them a Realistic Chocolate Penis
Not sure what creative Valentine’s Day gift to send your significant other? Searching for something that’ll make your loveless bestie feel warm and fuzzy despite being perennially single on February 14? Or maybe you want something snarky to send your mortal enemy? Folks, a realistic chocolate dick from the guys at Dick at Your Door accomplishes all of those things! It’s literally the perfect Valentine’s Day gift! (And, also, chocolate hearts are so last decade!)
For six years now, Dick at Your Door has been anonymously mailing people discreet boxes with a chocolate dick inside. (Though if you want your recipient to know it came from you, you simply include a customized card.) They’re basically leading the mail-able chocolate dick market, and they’ve got a brand-new, limited edition product for Valentine’s Day 2020.
(In an act of full disclosure, some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning that at no additional cost to you, Hornet could earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.)
The Valentine’s Day Dong 2020, pictured above, is a flowery box featuring a five-ounce, solid chocolate dick inside. And did we mention this chocolate is vegan?! Each chocolate dick is a realistic looking dong that measures the average American penis size of about five inches in length. And because it’s completely solid, you don’t have to worry about it breaking. (Dick at Your Door also assures us that melting is rare, too, though if you’re really worried, you can purchase an insulated shipping box with cold gel packs.)
This creative Valentine’s Day gift will cost you just $20. You supply the address. They supply the dick.
Hornet spoke with Dick at Your Door owner Adam, who told us where the idea for his company came from:
Dick at Your Door is a happy accident if there ever was one. While driving cross-country with my best friend in 2014, we randomly stopped at a sex shop in Lincoln, Nebraska. He was buying some toys for him and his wife, and I was just along for the ride.
While browsing, I came across a funny looking silicone penis mold. It was there the idea of sending chocolate dicks to people in the mail hit me, although it wasn’t a business idea in the beginning. I just thought it would be a fun way to prank my friends.
My now business partner built a website to make it seem legit, and within a week we were getting traffic from outside our friends. We put a shopping cart on the website, and the rest, as they say, is history. That was almost six years ago, and I have been been a dick slanger full time for three and a half of those years!
We also asked Adam who he’s found to be Dick at Your Door’s biggest buyers. He says for the most part it’s people looking to play a good-natured prank on their friends, and buyers are equally split between men and women. (No surprise there — who doesn’t love a delicious chocolate dick??)
But, hey, maybe you’re not looking for a creative Valentine’s Day gift this year. Dick at Your Door offers a good ol’ chocolate dick for any occasion — birthdays, bachelorette parties, even Pride Month, which Adam tells us is one of his company’s biggest seasons!