How Do You Tell If He’s Too Young or Old for You?

It’s time you really thought about whether it’s a good idea to be dating that man. Now, dating is a subjective experience that’s personal to every individual. But there are some common circumstances when dating someone of a different age isn’t a good idea. What are some common ‘red flags’ to look out for? What exactly will tell you he’s just too young or too old for you to seriously date?

Here are some of my own thoughts below.

Is Age Really Just a Number?

For the most part, we’re not talking about age here. If you’re worried that a guy you’re dating is 5, 10, or more years older than you, maybe you’re too worried about numbers.

That said, many people do have personal rules that tell them when a person is too old or too young for them to date.

Collectively, that’s created an unofficial rule. Psychology Today has written about a “half-your-age-plus-7” rule. So, dividing your own age by two and then adding seven can help you find the “socially acceptable minimum age” of anyone you want to date. Doing the reverse would help you find the “socially acceptable maximum age” for a potential lover.

But what if you’re not concerned with what’s deemed “socially acceptable”?

Maturity and Place in Life

Not everything in life is about numbers. Honestly, you shouldn’t worry about sticking to numbers or start worrying if someone you’re talking to has a 2, 3, 4, 5, or anything else at the front of their age. Instead, consider maturity and place in life.

You want to make sure the maturity of whomever you’re dating is where you need it to be. First, ask yourself where you are in life. Are you still into the party scene? Do you prefer a quieter way of life? Are you debt-free and looking to stay that way? Are you interested in having children soon? These questions about your personal life are important to have, because they could dictate the type of person you’re looking to date.

Imagine dating someone in their 20s and finding out they have NO intention of having kids anytime soon. You guys are simply in different stages of life. (The opposite situation applies as well.) Imagine going out with someone who always makes you feel insecure because they’re more established in their career or livelihood. This is a more legitimate reason why someone could be too old or too young for you (but also worthy of some self-reflection).

Your Thoughts on Age

If you feel insecure because your partner is more established in life, is growing a few grey hairs, was born in a certain year or whatever else, it sounds like the problem is more a “you” thing than a “them” thing. Sometimes you can talk that through and get over it. But sometimes it can break up a relationship.

Conversely, your thoughts on age could also work out in favor of an age gap. Does the idea of dating, or just hooking up, with a younger/older man turn you on? Are you the type to call your partner “daddy” or “son” in and out of the bedroom? Do you like pup play, age play, or something of the sort? Well, that could be a benefit to dating someone older or younger than you.

Dating and Age

Ultimately, dating and age is a personal situation, and it’s really all about how you perceive it. Do you think your partner’s age is a problem? If so, why? Is it about the number? The way you two live? Is it how others perceive your relationship?

Sometimes age differences can be a problem. And sometimes you’re just thinking about it too deeply. Maybe take some time to step away and think about it from every angle. That will, hopefully, enlighten you. 

Have you ever dated with an age difference?

Photo at top by Atikh Bana on Unsplash