This Student’s Prom Dilemma With His Boyfriend Exposes the Difficulties of Dating in the Closet

This Student’s Prom Dilemma With His Boyfriend Exposes the Difficulties of Dating in the Closet

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High school prom can be a stressful and nerve-wracking moment for most students. What are you going to wear? Who are you going to ask? Will they say yes? How will you sneak in some booze?

And all of this becomes much, much harder for LGBTQ+ students, as Reddit user @InitialHomoProcedure is finding out. While @InitialHomoProcedure is out of the closet, in part, his current boyfriend is not, which means the two of them can’t go to prom together. To top it off, his boyfriend is now thinking of taking a random girl to prom to save face with his other friends. That’s when he turned to the internet for advice.

@InitialHomoProcedures posted to the subreddit forum /askgaybros:

We are seniors in High School and have been dating for almost a year, I’m kind of out of the closet, not that many people care because I’m invisible basically. My boyfriend is more popular, wealthy and says he’s not ready for the world to know about him.

There is a dance coming up and some girls have asked him to go with them and he says it would be weird for him to go on his own since he’s so popular.

This has happened before, a few months ago he went on vacation with his best friends and he was made to pick a girl to take with because they were doing couple stuff and he did, that felt pretty sucky.

What do you guys think about this situation? What should I do?


Several users saw both sides of the argument while agreeing that the situation was pretty terrible.

@RamseyHill replied:

I’ve been there… Been on both sides sorta – But not in HS.

Part of the problem is that you’re in HS. Everyone is more uptight with how they are viewed and who their friends are and who they are seen with… Add to that adolescent emotion and that everyone is still figuring out who they are and what they’re into and you have a perfect storm for these kinds of situations.

Part of me says, roll with it – for a little while. Maybe just say, to him, “I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand. I’ll be here for you.” (or something like that) This isn’t a situation I’d encourage long-term – but thru the last couple months of HS it might be ok.

@Bloofeh said: 

I would talk it out with him and see if he’s not ready now, when? Not taking you is a really sucky thing, but I’ve also been a teenager in HS who thought coming out was the end of the world – it can be a lot of pressure on top of everything else.


Other users advised him not to date someone who is in the closet, especially if @InitialHomoProcedure is partially or fully out himself. A few people went as far as to say he should break up with his boyfriend, mainly citing the line about not being able to go alone as the reason.

While we all know school dances can be a nightmare. And the closet can be a pretty scary place, especially in High School. So here’s to hoping that things work out for @InitialHomoProcedure.


What do you think this student should do regarding his boyfriend? Do you have your own story of dating in the closet? Let us know by commenting below!

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