This Gay Reddit Dad Got Some Uplifting Reassurance About Coming Out to His Son
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The internet can be a rough place, but once in a while it actually manages to reinforce our faith in humanity. Case in point: 25-year-old Reddit user Adorable_Bid_3419 asks in r/AmItheAsshole — a forum widely known for agreeing that if you have to ask, you probably are — whether he’s the asshole for telling his son that he’s gay. The answer for this gay Reddit dad? A resounding “No.”
He explains that he had a child at 14, before he had fully figured out his sexuality; and while his family was supportive, the mother of the baby and her family were not. They demanded he not tell his son or bring boyfriends around him, and only allowed him visitation.
Now that OP has been in a long-term relationship with the man he wants to marry, he has come out to his 11-year-old son. As a result, the mother of OP’s child is not pleased, and claims their son is “too young” to know.
The gay Reddit dad asks: Am I the Asshole?
Here are some of our favorite responses to this gay Reddit dad:
“NTA. His mother is. If he’s old enough to know that a man and woman can be in a relationship, then knowing that two same-sex people can be in a relationship is hardly going to affect him.” — u/walnutwithteeth
“Yes. NTA. My son (12) is friends with a gender-fluid pansexual and boy who is gay. In both cases it’s not weird for anyone. Kids accept. They accept each other, but they also accept adult bigotry. Don’t ruin your child by passing on your bigotry to them. This has been a PSA. The more you know….” — u/FragilousSpectunkery
“NTA. The mom is the asshole. How is he too young to know about homosexuality but not too young to know about heterosexuality.” — u/lkvwfurry
“There is so much trash in the world that we should be shielding children from, love isn’t one of those things.” — u/sainthO0d
“NTA but you need to get a solid custody arrangement figured out so they can’t punish you for having an honest relationship with your son.” — u/worryaboutYOUhoe
“NTA – you’ve had a rough go of it (parent at 14 with an unpleasant coparent), and it sounds like you are doing very well! The best thing you can do for your son is what you are doing – show him that there’s another, better, kinder way to view the world from that which he’s being exposed to by the phobes.
Keep talking to him. Don’t let her set the parameters on your relationship with him. Maybe consider filing for more formal visitation now in case she tries to limit you.
You and your son (and Sam?) all deserve this genuine, honest family you are building.” — u/SlinkyMalinky20
The gay Reddit dad’s post has received over 800 comments assuring him that he was not in the wrong here, sending him well wishes for the future engagement, and encouraging him to get a lawyer. The comments also reiterated what we all know: that there is nothing inappropriate about sexual preference, and if your kid can understand what heterosexuality is, they can also understand what homosexuality is.