C. Brian Smith, a gay author who writes intelligently about masculinity, media culture, sex and drugs, has been masturbating the same way since he was 13.
“I’m single, so minding my solitary erotic life is relevant,” Smith said. “There’s nothing particularly pleasing about [my masturbation style, though it’s one of the few remaining dopamine dumps my sober brain is permitted, and it helps me fall asleep in the absence of a blissful fog of booze and benzodiazepines.”
So to juice-up his whack-off technique, Smith searched for a male masturbation coach and found Californian coach Ed Ehrgott. Here’s some of what Ehrgott told Smith:
“We’ll joke about [masturbation]. We’ll make fun of it. But most guys aren’t gonna seriously talk about it because that would be a blow to their masculinity. We learn to do it quickly, quietly, discreetly and to remove all the evidence as soon as possible. But what worked well in our teens may not work as well as we age since our bodies and tastes change….
That’s where masturbation coaching comes in…. It’s about taking something you began doing as an adolescent and adapting it to fit your values and needs as an adult.”
Foremost, Ehrgott feels like most men masturbate too quickly at a speed that doesn’t match the rhythms or sensations of actual sex. In fact, as Smith points out, the Kinsey Institute says that 75% of male masturbation sessions last for two minutes or less. So to slow down the pleasure, Ehrgott encourages men to practice “mindful masturbation”—a term allegedly coined by Texas masturbation coach Bruce P. Grether. which is “rooted in Tantra, Taoist Sexual Secrets and Western Sex Magick”.
Smith says that “mindful masturbation” means “being present in your body and savoring every sensation, which can lead to profound ecstatic states typically achieved after a lengthy ‘edging’ session.” Edging involves slowly pleasuring yourself for a prolonged period of time, bringing yourself repeatedly to the edge of orgasm but then backing off to avoid ejaculation.
Instead of just stopping when you’re about to cum, Ehrgott suggests switching things up by using a different hand, concentrating on your breathing, trying a different stroking style or spreading the erotic energy into other parts of your body by stimulating your nipples, buttcheeks or taint.
But for Ehrgott, masturbation coaching isn’t about teaching guys how to last longer or cum harder, it’s also about teaching men to let go of the rigid social expectations that compel us to control every aspect of our sexual gratification. Rather, he encourages men to surrender to sensation, let go of code of social conduct and allow the arousal to dic(k)tate your reactions. He also suggests tugging on your balls right before you cum; Smith did this when climaxing after a 45-minute jerk-off session and his load hit the wall behind him. Nice.
There’s apparently no official certification to become a masturbation coach, but some masturbation coaches do use different teaching tools like Blue Tyger’s a 53-minute film called 9 Golden Keys to Mindful Masturbation—it features a scruffy otter jerking off in a room sparsely decorated with a rug and Tibetan prayer flags. Tyger’s other masturbation how-to videos include such titles as 3 Forms of Male SoloSex Magick and Heartgasm…. and those links lead to short videos of Tyger whacking off, so enjoy.
(featured image via Men Magazine — you can practice your new masturbation techniques while look at the full, revealing photo set)