Say ‘I Love You’ With The Gift Of An Anus

Christmas shopping gets harder every year — what do you get for the love of your life that has everything? Magnus Irvin has the answer: Your anus.

Not just your anus — but a tastier and/or shinier version of it! Irvin is the man behind Edible Anus — for fifteen years, he’s been selling chocolates taken from an actual anus mold. This year, though, he’s decided to branch out: He’s not just casting chocolates anymore, but you can get anuses of all sorts!

Irvin offers a generic bronze anus for $285, or a silver one for $420. There’s also a special, limited edition glass anus for $399. “But wait!” you say. “You said I could give my lover my anus, not just some random asshole!”

And that’s right! If you want to go the personal route, for a mere $1,900, you can have a bronze anus cast from your very own asshole! Irvin says the half-hour process is “clean and painless”, and he uses alginate gel — the same stuff dentists use for mouth molds.

There’s no pricing available but Irvin’s site says that while the custom anus normally comes in bronze only, you can commission a custom casting in other metals — and you can even add jewels!

If you want to see what it’s like, here’s a video of the process, but be warned: It’s NSFW… if you couldn’t already figure out that you probably don’t want to watch someone get a mold of their anus at work.